a dirty martini kind of girl

Tracking

2012-01-26T12:48:00.000-08:00

After I finished my workout last night, I was in my car tracking it on my Runkeeper app & I realized that I use a lot of tools to help me stay on track. I decided to share them with you. I will provide a link to my profile in case you want to add me.

Runkeeper - I use this app to track all of my walks on my iPhone. When I first started working out, I downloaded the Nike+ app on my iPhone but I could never get it to calibrate correctly. I decided to try Runkeeper & I've been happy ever since. It can track your walks as long as it has a GPS signal & I can also do a manual entry for my treadmill workouts. It also tracks other activities such as cycling, skiing, & snowboarding.

DailyMile - oh how I wish that I could sync up my Runkeeper stats to DailyMile automatically. I like the interface for DailyMile a lot better than Runkeeper so I am tracking on both. DailyMile does sync up to Nike+ & Garmin devices. I also like that I can keep track of any upcoming races on it.

Fitbit - I got mine as a Christmas gift & I am so happy with it. It tracks my daily steps, miles traveled, calories burned & even my sleep habits. Pretty cool!

Fitocracy - I got an invite to this a while back but haven't explored it too much. For every workout you do, you get a certain number of points & achievements. It's basically a game to improve your fitness. Right now it's invite only so if you want a invite, let me know.

MyFitnesspal - I've been using it to track my workouts and meals. You can build a profile & based on what results you want it will tell you how many calories you should consume daily.

Earndit - I don't know how I heard about this rewards site but it's pretty cool. I have my Runkeeper, Foursquare & Fitbit tied to it. For every activity I do, I get points. Those points get me rewards such as gift cards for energy bars, discounts at TheClymb, vitamins, shoes, apparel & basically things fitness related. It's free to join & they have weekly challenges as well.

I'm also on Twitter & Tumblr which I don't use for tracking per se but I can talk to a people who have the same interest as me. And yes, I am also on Facebook. I have a love/hate relationship to this site.

Seems like a lot but it doesn't take a lot of time & I find it useful to see how far I've come from when I first started losing weight & working out.

Weekly Weigh In

2012-01-23T14:28:00.000-08:00

This week was a total failure as it regards to losing weight. I didn't track or eat right & only exercised for 20 minutes all week. That is beyond ridiculous. I think my gain from last week and having no job prospects really got me down and I was sort of in a haze. I was just existing and not living. I don't want that. If I look back at the past couple of days, it's like a blur.

I had a gain of .8 this week. Could've been so much worse. Should've been so much more but perhaps I was more mindful with me eating than I originally thought. Am I going to continue this way? Heck no! I decided that I am going to change things up a bit. Normally I follow the WW PointPlus plan and I will continue to do so but I am also going to count calories. Part of my issues with food is that I at times I have no control over portions. Just because I can eat 4 bananas at 0 PP+ does not mean that I should. I am going to do try this method for the next couple of weeks to see how I do. Here's my nutritional profile on MyFitnessPal.

I am hoping this plan will help with controlling my portions and keep me on track. This means every bite & nibble will be tracked. EVERY.SINGLE.ONE. That will be hard.

Fitness wise, I am starting where I left off last week which is Week 9 which consists of 4 days of 5K's on the treadmill and a 6 mile brisk walk during the weekend. Since I didn't work out this past week, my body feels so much heavier and I don't feel as limber as I typically do. It's back to the gym for me.

During the week I read a very interesting article which lists 17 reasons why you aren't losing weight. Reason #13 describes me and my weight loss journey:

If you find yourself having mini self-contained internal arguments throughout the day (and you lose), or (even worse) lying to yourself about what you’re eating and doing, you’re probably also full of excuses.

I don't know why I continue to do this to myself. This is the mental part of losing weight that I need to work on because I keep sabotaging myself.

Just keep swimming

2012-01-16T16:41:00.000-08:00

You would think it was Christmas morning since I woke up early. I was so excited to weigh in. I got on the scale and couldn't believe the number I saw. I got off the scale, weighed in and got the same result.

This week I had a gain of .2 pounds. Sigh...

I am so freaking disappointed. I thought that I did everything right. I worked out, I tracked my food and drank a lot of water. But it wasn't enough this week. I was feeling deflated because I truly did work hard this week.

Could it be too much sodium in my diet this week?

Am I building muscles?

Is my scale broken?

These are just some of the things I've been thinking about all day. I looked at my WW tracker and while I did track all my food & didn't go over my daily points value, some of my choices were high in points which meant that I wasn't eating much during the day and I had a large meal at dinner time. I did that twice this week. I normally eat about 5 small meals/snacks a day. Perhaps the richer food and not enough fruit & veggies are a result of this gain.

But if I am going to let a number dictate how I feel for the rest of the week, it won't be what the scale showed. Instead, I am going to focus on the following numbers:

As of January 15, I have worked out a total of 625 minutes (1,000 is my monthly goal) and I have walked 44.41 miles (50 miles is my monthly goal). Pretty awesome right?

I am going to move on from this disappointing weigh in and this week focus on my nutrition. This week's Do Life Challenge is a scavenger hunt which looks like a lot of fun & I will try to accomplish as many as I can. However, nutrition will be my focus. I've also modified my training guide because I think that for me it would be more doable this way. Originally it was a 12 week guide but I've modified it to 18 weeks. The whole purpose of it was to get endurance and gain speed to be able to complete Bay to Breakers (12k) in May in under two hours. For the next eight weeks, I will walk at least 5K 4 times a week and on the weekend increase my mileage.

Week 9 - 6 miles (brisk)
Week 10 - 9 miles (easy)
Week 11 - 7 miles (brisk)*
Week 12 - 10 miles (easy)
Week 13 - 8 miles (brisk)
Week 14 - 11 easy (easy)
Week 15 - 9 miles (brisk)
Week 16 - 12 miles (easy)
Week 17 - 10 miles (brisk)
Week 18 - half marathon

* Week 11 I will only be doing 6.2 miles since that Sunday I have my first 10k race.

At the end of this training guide, besides the mileage on Runkeeper, I would like to have something to show for it. I am seriously thinking of entering the Lucky Run half marathon on St Patrick's Day. The course cut off is 4 hours & I may sound optimistic but I think I may be able to complete it in that time if I keep training.

In the meantime, just keep swimming....

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

2012-01-15T19:02:00.000-08:00

This is gonna be a long post so get some tea & get comfortable :)

If you would've told me that I would be walking 8 consecutive miles in one day I would've laughed. I never thought that I would have the endurance for it. But today I did it. It was hard and there were several times when I just wanted to stop but I kept on going. Some random tidbits about my walk today:

I am so glad that I got my Race Epic shirt this week. It's the only long sleeve shirt that I have that fits & I wore it. It was freezing walking on the Golden Gate Bridge and that shirt kept my nice & cozy.
GU's Blueberry Pomegranate Roctane gel is disgusting. However, GU's Chocolate Outrage is so freaking good.
Mile 4 was gruesome. I had a pain in my lower back and it made it a difficult mile.
Mile 7 was the hardest mentally. I kept doubting whether or not I would finish my workout today.
This is just my experience but male runners are much friendlier than female runners. I try to make eye contact with anyone that I pass and men just seemed to be more friendly.

I had set Runkeeper to track my pace at 18 minutes per mile. According to the training guide I am following, today's walk was supposed to be "continuous comfortable walking" and I was supposed to walk "somewhat faster."

In total this week, I walked 18.2 miles which is the most I've ever walked in a week. It's incredible to me that week after week I keep upping my mileage. My friend said it best to me this Friday when she said "you are becoming this whole different person" and she is right. I am not the same person I was 6 months ago. I am more determined and a bit more fearless. I also gotta give props to Tim. Check out his blog if you don't follow him. He's about to hit his goal weight this week and he trained with me on this walk even though he lives across the pond. He decided to show me up by walking 10.5 miles & getting chased by a horse. Definitely check him out!

One of our tasks for this week's Do Life Challenge was to do two random acts of kindness. I decided to do the following:

I know how much I have gotten out of the fitblr community & healthy living blogs. I get support from them and the people who I follow & who follow me, who know exactly what I am going through because they've been there. It's a great group of people who have the same goal in mind. What I decided to do was to reach out to those people who I follow on Tumblr who haven't posted in a more than 3 weeks. I sent out a message to 12 of them reaching out. Perhaps they have been struggling with their journey or been to busy to update. But I wanted to let them know that I was here to support them.
I love, love, love Girl Scout cookies. But before I started on Weight Watchers I could probably eat a whole box of Thin Mints in a day. My friend's daughter is a girl scout & I wanted to support her efforts but didn't want the temptation. So.... I ended up ordering a couple of boxes and when my friend's daughter gets them, she will be donating them to a women's shelter near her house.

It's not often that I look forward to weigh in but I stayed on tracked this week and worked hard at the gym so I am anxious to see how much I lost. One thing I need to improve on is my water intake. I had set a goal of drinking 5 gallons this week and I am about a gallon short. I still drank more water than I have in the past few weeks so that's a win for me.

Overall, I think I did my best this week. I look forward to the challenges that next week brings & I am ready to take them on.

Do Life Challenge: Week Two

2012-01-09T20:30:00.000-08:00

I was sort of lame in week 1 so let's kick some booty this week.

I didn't keep up with my push-ups, I worked out 3 out of the 5 days I should've & I gained 1.3 pounds. Blah! But I still walked 14 miles which I think is the most I've ever walked in a week. That's good, right?

My goals for this week will be to:

Continue working towards losing 8 pounds (or rather 9.3 pounds) this month. If I want to reach that goal that means I have to eat right & exercise 5 times this week.
Not eating after 8 was hit & miss. A lot of the times I forgot about it. Soooo I set up my WW app to remind me to track all my food by 8pm. That's a clear reminder to STOP EATING.
I'm still researching strength training programs. I need to start toning up.
My water intake has been horrible. I bought some diet green tea from Costco and refilled our 5 gallon of water. My goal for this week will be to finish it all this week. Insane right?

The top one is empty & the bottom one probably has 4.75 gallons. Let's kill this bee-yotch!

Per the challenge, I have to go out of my way this week & perhaps do something I've never done before. Funds are tight right now so I'll have to get creative.

Four things I did well today:

Made a healthy choice while eating Mexican food today. I chose a salad with chicken & tortilla strips with low calorie dressing instead of a carb fest.
No soft drinks. Water all the way baby!
I listened to my body and rested. I wanted to work out today & take tomorrow as a rest day since it's my mom's birthday but my body was aching.
Tracked all my food. It's such a pain but so worth it.

Weekly Weigh In

2012-01-09T11:23:00.000-08:00

A gain of 1.3 pounds. I knew it was going to happen. During the middle of the week I wasn't there mentally with my weight loss. I was feeling sorry for myself and let myself indulge a bit. I weighed myself on Friday morning and was sort of shocked by the gain but thankfully I managed to get it down with lots of water, watching what I ate & walking 11 miles this weekend. This sure isn't helping me with my monthly goal of losing 8 pounds but I will try to do my best to get there.

My workouts for week 8 are:

Monday - rest day
Tuesday - 40 minutes walking
Wednesday - 25 minutes walking
Thursday - 40 minutes walking
Friday - rest day
Saturday - 50 minutes walking
Sunday - 8 miles

As I've done for the past 7+ weeks, I will continue to do at least 5k on non mile days. I just had a mini freak out seeing 8 miles. The 7 mile workout yesterday was hard. I'm still sore and definitely need a rest day. But damn I am in week 8. I remember a while back I didn't think I could walk 5 miles and now I've done 5, 6 & 7 mile workouts.

Source: hello--healthy.tumblr.com via Marisol on Pinterest

7 Miles

2012-01-08T18:17:00.000-08:00

Mentally, I feel good. Physically, I feel exhausted. I am still can't get over the fact that I walked 7 miles today. My goal for the day was just to finish it. But then this morning when I was setting up my Runkeeper to start I decided that I wanted to finish in two hours. I barely made it. I love my Runkeeper app. I set it up so every 1/2 mile it would tell me my distance and pace. That kept me motivated and on track.

I feel so happy with my time. I busted my hump. I only stopped once for GU and water break. I don't know if it's a placebo effect but as soon as I ate my second GU (3.5 miles in) I felt energized. I know it doesn't work that fast.

While walking I saw this couple & took a picture of them. I am not a stalker but I was observing how they were with each other. It's something that I want in the future. I want that so much & I am working hard towards one day achieving the confidence to put myself out there.

I took my handheld water bottle with me today and I have to say that it bothered me. While I appreciate having it with me when I need water, I don't like having to carry something in my hands while walking. I just need to get used to it.

Check out all those steps... whoo hoo!

I've set some goals. Now what?

2012-01-03T16:31:00.000-08:00

Setting realistic goals is important. I know that I could say that this year I want to run a marathon. That would just be setting myself up to fail. I've learned that I've got to set short term goals which in the long run will help me achieve my long term goals. The 4 main things I want to accomplish this year are get a job, continue to work on losing weight, run & take more risks. I could wait until December to search for a job, lose a couple of pounds that month, run from one side of my house to the other and cross the street without looking at both sides. But that wouldn't be living. How am I going to make reach those goals?

As far as weight loss goes, I am making it my monthly goal to work out at least 1,000 minutes & to walk at least 50 miles per month. Last month I reached 749 minutes and I'm pleased with that because there was one week where I didn't work out because I was sick. I also walked a total of 42.7 miles in December. I know I posted that my monthly goal is to lose 8 pounds. I think that's doable and I am motivated by the fact that last month I was able to lose 11.7 pounds during what is a difficult month due to all the food temptation.

One of the reasons why I decided to join the Do Life challenge was to keep motivated. I think that has been one of the most difficult areas for me during the past year. I'm still trying to think about how to improve my job search & also figure out how to be more fearless. Perhaps the Happiness Online project will help me determine that. I'm hoping to post about that program in the next day or so. Still trying to get my head around it.

4 things that I did well today:

Woke up before 9am. Now that may not seem like a big deal but for me it is. When I worked I used to get up around 6:30. However the past 9 months I've typically gotten up around 11ish unless I had something going on. In order to get into a routine, I need to wake up at the same time every day.
I walked 5K on the treadmill even though I didn't want to finish it. After about 20 minutes I felt like I couldn't catch my breath. Instead of stopping, I just slowed down and told myself that my time didn't matter. Just finish the workout.
Making a new healthy snack. I heard about baked garbanzo beans so I am attempting to make them.
I had a hearty breakfast and although I was extremely sleepy this morning, I only had one cup of coffee. No need to be excessive in my caffeine intake. My mom got me some amazing coffee from Mexico.

Do Life Challenge: Week One

2012-01-02T20:38:00.000-08:00

I decided to participate in the Do Life Challenge. If you haven't heard about it & want more details, you can check it out here. I definitely recommend you sign up. It's going to be a 12 week challenge which promises to be a lot of fun. There will aslo be prizes awarded. Now who doesn't like that?

My goals for this month are:

Lose 8 pounds by the end of January.
Workout 21 days out of the 31 in the month. I track my workouts on MyFitnessPal, using Runkeeper & my Fitbit.
Find a strength training program and work on it three times a week. Any recommendations for a newbie?
Improve my 5K time on the treadmill. Fastest time is 49:19.
Stop eating after 8. If I am hungry, I can only drink water/tea or eat 0 point value food i.e. fruits & veggies.

Push-ups for week 1:

1 modified push-up. Damn, I am weak!

My biggest excuse:

Since I am home most of all day, I find it very hard to motivate myself to be active. Even when I finally make it to the gym, it has taken me most of the day to get motivated. Part of it has to do with the lack of routine. I need to work on setting a routine for myself so that I use my time efficiently. I won't always have so much time so I better take advantage of it while I can.

4 things I did well today:

I'm sticking to my not eating after 8. Currently drinking a cup of tea.
I told my mom that I would go with her to Weight Watchers & help her with her journey. She is still thinking about it but I told her that I would be a source of help for her.
While I didn't track my points today, I know that I didn't go over my daily point allowance.
Today I actually wore my Fitbit all day long. I'm still not used to having it on me all the time.

I'm hoping that by participating in this challenge, it will help me towards achieving my goals in 2012.

You can go hard or you can go home

2012-01-02T07:44:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot about what it is that I want to accomplish in 2012. If I look back at 2011, it was a year full of ups and downs. It wasn't the greatest year for me in my professional life but health wise I think I did a good job. I had set three goals at the beginning of the year and I accomplished 2 out of the 3.

Get a new job - I lost my job & have been unemployed for 9 months so that's a fail.
Health & fitness - I am happy with my results for the year although I know I can do better.
Needs vs. wants - being out of a job has definitely made me evaluate my needs vs wants. I don't spend my money as foolishly I as used to but that's solely because I don't have the income that I had at the beginning of the year.

I've been thinking a lot of what I want to accomplish this year. Some of my goals are obvious (find a job & lose weight) while others are up to my own interpretation (take more risks). I've decided on 4 goals/resolutions which will be my focus for this year.

Get a job - I will admit that the month of December I was very laid back in my job hunt. From family visiting to preparing for the holidays to well, it's just a bunch of excuses. I haven't been as diligent as I was in the previous months & I need to work harder. I need to treat my search as if it was my job. Dedicate more time and try to find different ways to network. Perhaps start volunteering in hopes that it leads to a possible job or a reference.
Continue working towards a healthy lifestyle - I lost half a pound this week bringing my total to 80.1 pounds. I will continue with WW. It has worked for me. I have lost 80 pounds in 15 months and that to me is incredible. However, I could do better. In the last three months of 2010 I lost 27 pounds which averages out to 9 pounds a month. In 2011, I lost 51 pounds. It's still a great loss but losing an average of 4.25 pounds a month in 2011 is not good enough for me especially when I can lose more than that when I set my mind to it. I managed to lose 11.7 pounds just this past month. My goal for 2012 is to lose 8 pounds a month. It sounds like a lot and it is but if I can continue to be motivated and keep working hard then I know I can do it.
Run - now that is a scary three letter word. I will continue to work on my half marathon training guide and as I keep losing weight, I will start to jog and my hope is that at the end of 2012 I can run a 5K without stopping. I know that this won't happen overnight. I know that I have to keep going to the gym and working hard. But I will be running at the end of the year.
Take more risks - one of the things I've discovered is that the only thing that holds me back is myself. I never thought I could lose weight. I never thought I could actually walk 5K. I almost let my fear of the unknown hold me back from going to the Do Life event in July. If I hadn't gone, I wouldn't have discovered such a great community and I doubt that I would be working out as much as I am now. I never thought I would go to a blogger meetup where I didn't know anyone. I have met some great people and if I had let my fears rule how I deal with life I would've missed out on a great support system. Sounds simple but I am going to put myself out there and work on being fearless.

I guess the theme for 2012 for me is "you can go hard or you can go home". When I set my mind to it, I have proven that I can do things I never thought I could do. So what's stopping me from doing them? If I am going to give my life a half ass attempt, I might as well give up. But what kind of life is that? That's not living and doing life. It's just existing. I don't want to just exist any longer.

I started out 2012 by going on a walk in San Francisco. I had hoped to walk the Golden Gate bridge but there were so many people that parking was a mess. I decided to walk along the water and just be in the moment. It wasn't my fastest or farthest walk but for me that wasn't the point of it. I was out there living life.

RaceEpic

2012-01-01T09:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I participated in RaceEpic. I had written this submission but I don't remember if I submitted it to the people in charge of the race. Why did I sign up for RaceEpic?

I remember being in Golden Gate Park after the Do Life race sitting around listening to people share their goals and stories. Some were talking about running marathons, participating in a triathlon or Ironman. I felt like one of those things that didn't belong there. I had just walked my first 5K and was still trying to wrap my head around that (and probably trying to catch my breath). Lucky for me that one of the DoLifer's introduced herself to me and told me more about what I now know to be an awesome community on Tumblr. I had really only read Ben's blog but didn't venture into Tumblr much. But now I can't go a day without checking the site, supporting people and being held accountable.

I have always been overweight. Up until age 10, I was a chubby kid but I was active. I used to swim competitively and I was good at it. I also liked food. A lot. When I got into middle school, I stopped swimming. I basically stopped doing anything active. I just kept gaining weight and picking up bad habits. This was basically my life up until July 2011 when I finally got active again.

I have been inspired by so many people in this community. I am not yet a runner but I hope to be one day as I continue to lose weight. I've lost 79 pounds since September 2010, have become more active since July and have gained so much more confidence in myself.

What does RaceEpic mean to me? Typically, New Year's I would be spending it thinking of what food I am going to eat and how much alcohol I would be drinking. But not this year. This race is going to kick off what I hope will be a great year for me. I don't know what distance I will be walking but it will be at least a 5K. I have already signed up for my first official 10K in February, committed to participating in Bay to Breakers in May (12K) and have a couple of 5K's in mind. Yes, right now I'm a walker but I hope that 2012 is the year in which I can call myself a runner. I know that 2012 will be the year where I reach goals I never even thought of setting for myself.

Today being the last day of the year I knew I had to get out there and be active. But I woke up in a funk. I started to miss my family in Mexico. I decided that I could wait until tomorrow to work out. I had breakfast & started watching television. I could literally see myself going back to my old habits of just hanging out on the couch. Finally in the late afternoon I realized what a schmuck I was being. I got dressed and headed to the gym. I proceeded to walk my fastest 5K of 2011.

What does RaceEpic mean to me? It means taking all the excuses in the world aside and doing right by me. It means making my health a priority. It means pushing myself when I feel like I can't go on anymore. It means believing in myself. Every day I struggle with working out. Every damn day.

But I am doing it.

Wordless Friday

2011-12-30T00:02:00.000-08:00

Well almost wordless...

All images via Happily Maintaining

I hope you all have a happy & safe new year. Blogging about my journey to get healthy and reading blogs with similar goals has been one of the best things for me. It was like seeing a whole new group of people that have the same state of mind as you. And that’s why I appreciate all of the people whose blogs I read and all of the people that read my blog. Thank you.

OMG moment

2011-12-26T18:29:00.000-08:00

Ten days ago, I posted that one of my goals for December was to finish a 5K in under 50 minutes. I think I was riding on an exercise high because I had just walked my fastest 5K that day with a time of 51:20. I was only able to work out one more day after that and then I got sick. Today I went back to the gym after not working out all week and this happened:

I did this today. Me. I still can't believe. I actually walked 3.1 miles in under 50 minutes. Say whaaat?!?! I think my day at the gym today is one that I won't soon forget.

I also went to the East Bay and hit up Lush. I am obsessed with taking baths now so I wanted to take advantage of their sales. I got all this for $65 since all their holiday items were buy one get one free. One of the stars is a gift filled with 6 holiday bath bombs. In all, I ended up getting 10 bath bombs/bubble bars and two soaps (the Godmother & Snow Globe).

To say that I am beyond excited about my weight loss & 5K time today is not enough. This is proof that I can do those things which I thought I couldn't do. I can do it. I just have to keep trying and if I fail, try again.

Weekly weigh in & Christmas goodies

2011-12-26T09:37:00.000-08:00

I was sort of bummed that I got sick because I couldn't work out so I doubt I will make my goal of 1,000 exercise minutes for the month. I am finally feeling better & will be going back to the gym today. Gotta prepare to for an epic race this weekend. It could the meds that I am on (antibiotics & Sudafed) or the fact that I was more conscious of what I ate since I couldn't work out so I was extremely surprised with a 4 pound loss this week. That makes it a loss of 79.6 pounds since September 2010. Holy cow! I really hope to start 2012 with an 80 pound loss behind me. We will see if I can reach this number in the next week.

This Christmas weekend was sort of low key for me. I started to feel a bit sorry for myself since I wasn't with family but I know that I made the right decision for me. Usually for Christmas I get myself a nice gift. Since I have to watch my funds a bit right now, I had decided that my entry to Bay to Breakers would be my Christmas gift to me. However, I came across a couple of sales and decided to treat myself especially since I only spent $70 on it all. Pretty excited to get these goodies within the next week.

Ideeli was having a plus size sale & I managed to score a couple of items.

Stretch Poplin Jacket in Coal

Cargo Pant with Ruched Detail in Night Mist

Benton Springs Hoodie in Oxide Blue

Since I had a $20 credit with Ideeli, I only spent $38 on these three items including shipping. Pretty sweet deal!

BrittanyFindsHerself posted that REI was having a sale on handheld water bottles so I decided to check out the sale.

With free shipping, I ended up spending $28 for both the wrist wallet & bottle. I never thought that I would ever get excited to shop at REI. I guess people do change. :)

Since I didn't work out at all this week, I will be starting up again today with week 6 of the half marathon walking training guide. I thought of skipping ahead to week 7 but I really want to be able to look back with a sense of accomplishment and realize that I followed through with the plan.

My workouts for week 6 are:

Monday - 40 minutes walking
Tuesday - 25 minutes walking
Wednesday - 40 minutes walking
Thursday - rest day
Friday - 30 minutes walking
Saturday - 4 miles
Sunday - rest day

As I've done for the past 5 weeks, I will continue to do at least 5k on non mile days. My goal for Saturday is to beat my previous 4 mile time of 1:12.

Hope everyone has a great week. Let's end 2011 on a high note!

Joy to the World...

2011-12-21T21:56:00.000-08:00

I've got strep throat. Fa la la, la la la, la la la!

This was me today waiting for the doctor. I started feeling somewhat craptacular yesterday and decided to skip my workout. I slept for a lot of the day and I thought I was feeling better. This morning I woke up a bit dizzy, feeling congested and my throat... my god you think I was swallowing rocks.

I was going to go to the gym and "sweat it out" but when I could barely eat my sandwich I knew it was time to call the doctor. I now have a nice cocktail of antibiotics & decongestants going. This was actually the first time that I asked a doctor if it would be ok to work out. He gave me a strange look and said to wait a bit and then to listen to my body.

I never thought I would be asking a doctor if it would be ok to work out.
I am a bit upset that this is interrupting my training. I feel like I was on track and now there is this bump on the road. Grr...
At least I don't have much of an appetite.

My mom and sister leave tomorrow for the next 10 days. I am really bummed that I can't work out mainly because it was going to be a distraction for me. I am saddened that I can't go to Mexico with them but I made the choice not to go to keep on this weight loss journey. I just need to remain positive so that I don't fall back on old habits. Anyhoo...

I wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas and wanted to thank you for your support and friendship. If you don't celebrate Christmas, I hope that you still enjoy the upcoming weekend and prepare to make 2012 your best year ever.

If you plan for it, it will work.

2011-12-19T14:14:00.000-08:00

What's it? For me, it's Weight Watchers. I was a bit concerned this week on how I would do with my weight loss. I find that the times when I lose control is when I go out to eat. For me, it's hard to stay on track in the face of temptation. I also lost 5.2 pounds last week so I wasn't sure how my body would perform this week.

I lost two pounds and that makes me so happy. I had weighed myself in the middle of the week and I was down 2.4 pounds. But that was before the 3 holiday get togethers I had. I knew that I couldn't just let myself eat whatever I wanted so I did a couple of things to ensure I would succeed this week:

Plan ahead. Two of the get togethers were at a restaurant. For both, I checked and calculated the points before hand. I made sure I stuck to my food choices.
I didn't deprive myself. I love the wheat bread at the Cheesecake Factory. I allowed myself to have two pieces and I was satisfied with that. Also, at the restaurant I went to on Friday, I decided to get dessert & shared it with the table. I had allowed for enough points so that if I wanted dessert at the end of the night I could have it without feeling guilty.
Work out. I worked out 5 times this week. I made that a priority.
For the brunch potluck I went to on Sunday, I prepared a WW friendly meal - skinny country potatoes. Since it was a potluck, I didn't have control over the food being served. When I started filling up my plate, I filled half of it with fruit, a serving of the country potatoes and then small servings of the two quiches prepared. I filled up with fruit first and even went back for seconds... of the fruit salad.
Alcohol - oh how I love a good cocktail. I used to be the one that would get a couple of drinks plus a full meal. This time, I had ONE cocktail at each get together. Again, I didn't deprive myself and I enjoyed my time with family and friends.

Since I knew that I would be eating out, I made sure that the days that I didn't I ate more sensibly. It's great to be able to enjoy life and not worry about losing control over food. All it took was a bit of planning to be able to stay on track. It sounds simple but this week was a lot harder for me mentally since I really had to be conscious of my choices.

My workouts for week 6 are:

Monday - rest day
Tuesday - 40 minutes walking
Wednesday - 25 minutes walking
Thursday - 40 minutes walking
Friday - rest day
Saturday - 30 minutes walking
Sunday - 4 miles

As I've done for the past 5 weeks, I will continue to do at least 5k on non mile days. My goal for Sunday is to beat my previous 4 mile time of 1:12.

Christmas came early!

2011-12-17T16:03:00.000-08:00

Last night I had Christmas dinner with my mom and sister and we also had a gift exchange. It's a bit early to be exchanging gifts but both my mom and sister are going to Mexico City for the holidays next week. Dinner was delicious. We went to a restaurant in Corte Madera called Brick & Bottle and the menu is described as classic comfort food with a fresh and modern touch.

I had the roasted beet & green lentil salad to start with. For my entre, I ordered two side dishes - smoked gouda orzo "mac & cheese" and the bacon brussels sprouts. I ended up ordering the rum cake and shared it with my sister. Everything was so good and best of all was that I did not go over my points for the day. We also exchanged gifts at the restaurant and I got some great goodies.

I finally got a Fitbit. If you want to friend me on Fitbit, here's my profile. I've been wanting one for a long time and I made it a reward for myself if I could track my food consistently for 60 days. That wasn't happening so when my mom asked me what I wanted, I knew exactly what I wanted to get. She also gave me two workout DVD's and my sister gave me a gift card. I was really happy with my gifts.

Today's workout scheduled said that I needed to do a 40 minute walk and tomorrow a 6 mile walk. Tomorrow morning I have brunch with some friends so I switched the schedule around. I drove to Blackie's Pasture this morning and started walking.

Last week, I was going to walk my farthest distance which was 5 miles and for some reason that morning I was freaking out. That was not the case today. I mentally prepared myself and set a time goal (1:45 since I walked 5 miles in 1:28 last week) and hoped for the best. I was struggling a bit after the first mile. I just felt like I was going slow. I knew I wasn't going to beat yesterday's 5K time because this walk was more about endurance for me. After a while though, I just stopped worrying about it and kept going. Last week when I hit the 5 mile mark, I was exhausted and my body instantly slowed down. This time when I hit the 5 mile mark, I knew I still had one more mile and it was like my body knew it too. I looked at my Runkeeper app and saw that I could potentially make my time goal. The last 1/4 mile my feet felt so heavy but I made it and reached my goal (even my Fitbit was happy).

Now it's time to take a bubble bath and relax. Whew!

My numbers don't lie

2011-12-16T15:43:00.000-08:00

Earlier this week I posted that I had walked my fastest 5K on the treadmill. I was really excited to see the time going down so I kept pushing myself to see how fast I could go.

The top number is Tuesday's time, then Wednesday and then today. I look a bit crazy in my picture (oh my hair!) but I was ecstatic with my time. I may sound a bit overconfident but my goal for December is to try to see if I can walk it under 50 minutes. That's what I will be striving for during the next 15 days. Wish me luck!

I looked at MyFitnessPal and so far I have worked out 461 minutes & if I continue to follow my workout plan for the remainder of the month, I will surpass my monthly goal of 1,000 exercise minutes.

Now off to get ready for a Christmas dinner. My mom and sister are leaving next week to go to Mexico for the holidays so we are doing our gift exchange tonight.

Bay to Breakers

2011-12-13T23:13:00.000-08:00

At the beginning of November, I decided that I would start training to participate in Bay to Breakers (12K race) by following the half marathon walking training guide on Hal Higdon's page. I started following it so that I could build up endurance and speed. I am on week 5 and so far I feel as I am doing pretty great. Yesterday I received an email from the organizers of the event and if I registered within the next 48 hours, the registration fee would be $48 which is the cheapest it's going to be.

I was excited.

I was nervous.

I had butterflies in my tummy.

How could I even think of signing up for a race that long when it was only Sunday that I walked 5 miles?

Anxiety set it.

Did I mention that there is a a huge hill in the course that's about a 1/2 mile long?

I started to doubt myself but then this happened...

I am so excited & terrified. But I can't wait. I only have 158 days to think of a costume for that race. Squee!

When I registered for the race, I picked the 16 mile run/walk corral which would have me finishing the race right at two hours. I now have a set time goal that I will be working on for the next 6 months. Today at the gym I was feeling optimistic and decided to push myself. My fastest 5k time is 53:07. Or rather it used to be that time because today I beat my time.

I’m feeling very motivated lately & hope to continue to feel this way. I think eating cleaner has definitely helped with my mood. Not poisoning my body with excess food is paying off.

SELF RESPECT

2011-12-12T13:40:00.000-08:00

When I got on the scale this morning & weighed in, I felt like...

I lost 5.2 pounds. Booyah! I was so happy to see that loss today. So so happy. I worked hard this week. I ate according to plan and worked out 5 days this past week.

I completed week 4 of the half marathon walking training guide and I was scared for yesterday's workout. I had to walk 5 miles and I've never walked that distance. But I did it! And I did it faster than I thought I would. I had set a goal of an hour and a half & I walked it in 1:28.

My workouts for week 5 are:

Monday - rest day
Tuesday - 35 minutes walking
Wednesday - 25 minutes walking
Thursday - 35 minutes walking
Friday - rest day
Saturday - 40 minutes walking
Sunday - 6 miles

As I've done for the past 4 weeks, I will continue to do at least 5k on non mile days.

I posted this on my Tumblr yesterday but it worth repeating.

I must remember this feeling of accomplishment whenever I doubt myself. I CAN DO IT!

Wordless Saturday

2011-12-09T23:16:00.001-08:00

Well almost wordless :)

Registered for my first 10K (EVER!!!) for 2012. I am excited/nervous/scared all at the same time.

Non-scale victory. Oh yeah!

My new favorite treat - iced venti Americano with 1 pump of sugar free mocha (1 PP+)

Had some pumpkin puree left over, so I made some pumpkin, black bean & poblano pepper tacos. So yum & 6 PP+ for two tacos (if you follow the recipe). Mine were 7PP+ since I added cheese.

I spent my Wednesday with friends doing some wine tasting. Life is good.

RaceEpic & tried a new recipe

2011-12-06T20:19:00.001-08:00

I've been looking for a 5K for December and last night on Tumblr I came across an virtual race for New Years Eve - RaceEpic. I decided to sign up so on December 31, I will be walking at least a 5K. Who knows, I may surprise you (and myself) and decide to do a 10K. For $25, you can get a shirt & if you prove that you completed your race, you also get a medal. Part of the funds will also go towards charity. How cool is that? I can't think of a better way to ~~end~~ start the new year.

I worked out today (W4D2) and completed another 5K on the treadmill. Burned 561 calories & by the time I left the gym, I was starving. I decided to make Mary's recipe for Pumpkin Black Bean Chili. Oh...Em...Gee! Talk about delicious. You can find the full recipe on her blog. I calculated the nutritional value and a cup of this amazing chili is 10 points per cup. It was definitely filling enough for me. I shared some with my mom and the rest is in the freezer.

Tomorrow is my rest day and am meeting up with friends and we are going wine tasting. I told them that I would be the designated driver that way I won't be drinking my points. Oh yeah and also to drink responsibly.

Remember, life is all about making good choices.

Listening to my body & facts about me

2011-12-04T16:54:00.001-08:00

After a week of unhealthy eating habits, I faced the scale today and it reflected a 1.6 pound gain. I'm honestly surprised, not by the gain, but by the amount. I was prepared for more. This shouldn't be an indication that it was ok to eat the way that I have the past week. In fact, it's time to be more diligent and stay on track. As mentioned in my previous post, the way I felt truly reflected how I ate last week and that's not a feeling I want to have again. I prepared a healthy breakfast/pre-workout meal (steel cut oatmeal, brown sugar, banana & some walnuts) and am mentally preparing to go back to the gym to do at least 5K on the treadmill.

With my actions from last week, I feel like I don't deserve the following award but I will graciously accept it and hope that my efforts from now on will reflect the spirit of the award.

The awesome Tim from Fat.Boy.Thin gave me the Blog on Fire award on his blog. He is such a cool dude & if you haven't read his blog, you should. His blog cracks me up, he is doing awesome job in getting fit and he has reached 5,380,037 steps in his quest to walk 15 million steps.

The rules of this award are to pass this on to someone who has been doing incredibly well and then write 7 things about myself that you may not know. It's hard to pick just one but I decided to award this to Emily from Big Life, Little Blog. She may or may not know that she is an inspiration to me. She chronicles her successes and struggles and currently is training for the Disney half marathon. Definitely check out her blog & cheer her on.

7 things about me:

I don't want to have children. I love my nieces & nephews and most kids (not the bratty kind) but I don't see myself having them.
However, when I was diagnosed with PCOS 10 years ago & told that I could potentially have infertility issues, I was devastated that if in the future I ever did want kids that it wouldn't be an option.
I don't like wearing dresses. When I moved from Mexico to California 22 years ago, I had a different idea of what kids in the US dressed like. While living in Mexico, I attended a private all girls Catholic school so I wore a uniform every day. We moved to California in the summer so I really didn't see that many kids in their school outfits. My first day at a public school I wore a flower print dress & my hair in a ponytail. Could I stand out even more? New kid who barely spoke English wearing her Sunday's best surrounded by kids who were all wearing jeans & tshirts. I think since then I've only worn a dress once and that was to a wedding I attended.
I like helping people but I don't like asking for help.
I can watch some shows over & over and still laugh at the silly joke. Some of those shows include Friends, Will & Grace, Everybody Loves Raymond & The Big Bang Theory.
I've always thought it would be cool to be a pink lady.
I heart my iPhone. Seriously, it's a bad addiction. Been an addict since 2007.

And now you know...

Since my workouts haven't been consistent the past two weeks as per the half marathon walking training guide, I am going to pick a starting point & begin in week 4. That means that my workouts for the week are:

Monday - rest day
Tuesday - 35 minutes walking
Wednesday - 25 minutes walking
Thursday - 35 minutes walking
Friday - rest day
Saturday - 40 minutes walking
Sunday - 5 miles

Even though today is a rest day, I plan on working out since I may be going wine tasting on Wednesday and won't have time to go to the gym. I hope that by continuing to follow this guide I will reach my December goal of 1,000 minutes of exercise.

Moderation was on vacation

2011-12-04T15:56:00.001-08:00

It's eerily quiet in my house right now. The only sounds heard are those of the keyboard strokes & the Dubstep record that I am listening to. Aaah peace... After 10 days of family visiting & playing tour guide, it's nice to be able to just sit and relax. I love my family but 9 people in a 3 bedroom home is chaotic.

With the stillness and time to think, I've also had a time sit back and examine how I've been doing the past two weeks. Let me tell you, it's been quite a disappointment on the getting healthy front.

Chocolate cake, ice cream, parmesan truffle fries, chili cheese fries, bit size milky ways, pistachios, enchiladas, chinese food, hot flaming cheetos, massive amounts of diet coke, mexican candy, cream cheese dip with crackers, bread and cupcakes...

The main reason why I like following Weight Watchers is because I can eat anything I want. But just in moderation. Moderation has been on vacation for the past two weeks or so and it took away fruits & vegetables with it. This list of foods is something that I can eat while following WW but in moderation. Not the massive amount of qualities I've been eating. I was worried about what I would eat on Thanksgiving dinner that I forgot that it isn't just that one meal. It's the rest of my life that I need to be mindful of what I eat.

I can feel my body rejecting this treatment too. I feel swollen, bloated, lethargic and am in a pissy mood. I had the opportunity to go to the gym yesterday & today but instead decided to sleep most of the weekend. My body needs to detox and it's demanding that I stop treating it this way. My plan last night was to take a bubble bath and write up this blog post. Instead, I had a massive headache and went to bed early. I know the headache was a reflection of how I've been treating my body.

I've got no one to blame but myself. I made the choices and they weren't good ones. My plan for December is to concentrate on getting back on track again. I know the scale tomorrow will reflect a gain but it's time to work on getting that number lower.

I've realized that I lack control with my food intake. I can't have "bad" food in my house. I just can't resist it. Time to clean the cupboards & fridge again and donate everything I can and throw away that which may affect my control. Sorry Mom but those hot flaming cheetos have got to go.

I also realized how much reading healthy living blogs motivates me. I haven't been reading them lately since I haven't had a chance to but seeing how others are doing motivates me. I need to get back on that.

I heart GU

2011-11-30T18:50:00.001-08:00

I got my first delivery from The Clymb & I was so happy with my order. I've heard about GU and never tried their products since they are pricey. Today before my workout I tried the Chocolate Outrage Gel and oh em gee! I may be hooked. However, I don't think it was wise to only have coffee & GU before working out. Shake shake shake... I hung on to the treadmill cause my hands were shaking like mad. I think next time I won't be doing that combo.

With today's workout, that marks day 19 out of the 15 days I committed to working out for No Excuses November. That makes it 1,086 minutes of exercise for the month of November. I exceeded my goal for the month by 86 minutes. Woot woot!

The following are what I think best describes the past couple of days.

Doing life taking a walk in Tiburon with my cousin Nadia

The Thanksgiving dinner dish I made (roasted veggies), my dinner & my tiny piece of pumpkin pie.

I was the DD but I had to pose for the picture at the vineyards

Gorgeous day in the city this past Thanksgiving weekend

Hectic holiday week

2011-11-28T22:05:00.001-08:00

Bullet point style update today which explains why I've been MIA.

Gained a pound this week. I was actually good during Thanksgiving dinner but it was the weekend that did me in. Le sigh...
Worked out 4 times this past week. I was aiming for 5.
I've had family in town since Wednesday night. 9 people in a 3 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom house is insane but oh so much fun!
I've barely had any time to be online and it's been kind of nice. Spending time with family rocks!
Something may have developed on the job front but will know more in a couple of days. It's not exactly what I want but it's a paying job with benefits.
7 out of the 9 relatives have left. Will be spending the rest of the week playing tour guide.
I think I need a new router. Internet is hella slow!
I actually shopped during Black Friday. After living in the US for 22 years, I actually went shopping from midnight to 4am and let me tell you, I won't be repeating it any time soon.
Pumpkin pie is evil.
So is wine tasting.
And so are tortillas & cheese from Mexico.
Moderation & getting some time in the gym is my goal for this week.
I have to decide by Wednesday if I am registering for a half marathon in February. Question: if I sign up for it but decide that I would rather do the 10K, can I participate or is my entry void?

A number will not define me

2011-11-21T12:22:00.001-08:00

I maintained this week. I stepped on the scale on Friday morning & I had lost the pound I gained last week but again with the bread this weekend & perhaps a bit too much wine. But I am not upset about maintaining. I had a great week. I am not going to let the number on the scale define how I feel about myself this week.

However, I am very content with these numbers:

726 - the number of minutes I've worked out so far this month.
53:07 - my fastest time walking a 5K
6,000 - calories burned so far this month
5 - the number of races I am committed to do so far in 2012
11.4 - points (is that what they are called?) dropped on my BMI
13 - days worked out of of the 15 day commitment on the No Excuses November challenge

Here's my week 3 recap as per the half marathon walk training guide:

Monday - planned rest day
Tuesday - plan was 35 minutes walking / 55:37 minutes on treadmill (5K)
Wednesday - plan was a 20 minute walking/ 55:39 minutes on treadmill (5K)
Thursday - plan was 35 minutes/ 26 minutes on treadmill (feeling ill that day)
Friday - planned rest day
Saturday - plan was 20 minutes walking/ 53:07 minutes (Davis 5K Turkey Trot)
Sunday - plan calls for a 2 mile walk/ took a rest day

I decided to make Sunday a rest day mainly because I plan on going today and Monday's are typically a rest day for me. Even though this next week will be crazy, I will get in all my work outs. Yes I will. Yes I will.

Goal for this week is to eat in moderation & lose weight. Simple enough, right?

Davis 5K Turkey Trot

2011-11-19T18:02:00.000-08:00

I got up at dark o'clock today to drive to Davis to participate in the Davis 5K Turkey Trot. I was hoping that my efforts from the past three weeks would pay off.

1st 5K race- 55:46

2nd 5K race - 57:05

Today's 5K race - 53:07 Booyah!

I was so happy when I saw the results. I knew that I had improved my time & I was using Runkeeper to keep me on pace until about 2 miles in when the app crashed. Boo! But I kept walking & trying to pace myself. Best of all, I wasn't tired when I got to the finish. This is by far the fastest I've ever walked. Yay me!

After the 5K, we walked around the different booths and then we had some breakfast. I was starving! Afterwards, we did a bit of wine tasting.

One of the reasons we decided to participate in this race is because we are thinking of doing the half marathon in February 2012 which is in the same location. We have to decide before month end to get the best rate so it looks like I may be walking a half early next year. Yikes!

13/15 No Excuses November

So far...

2011-11-16T21:46:00.001-08:00

I usually don't post mid month recaps but I was curious today to see how I am doing so far. My goal for the month was to follow the half marathon training guide for walkers & by doing so, I hoped to complete 1,000 minutes of exercise for the month.

As of today, I completed week 3 day 2 of the program and have worked out for 647 minutes. With today's workout, I have completed 11 out of the 15 days of the No Excuses November challenge. I'm pretty freaking stoked to see that I will be exceeding my goal for the month. The next two weeks will be kind of hectic for me since I have family coming into town for the holiday. I plan on making my health a priority. Since the gym will be closed on Thursday for Thanksgiving, I will be working out on Monday to make up for that day.

I also wanted to share with you the new toy. I can't wait to play with Siri. Hhmm that sounds dirty :)

Rub-a-dub-dub

2011-11-15T12:00:00.000-08:00

I took a bath. Big whoop right? Many people take them but I am not one of them. I had gone into Lush and I typically get their soaps & shower gels. But for some reason, I walked over to the bath bombs & bubble bars and decided to get two items to try. I used the Comforter bubble bar & I am hooked. Being in a bubble bath without a phone (I took the picture before getting in the tub) or any other distractions, it gave me a chance to think...

To slow down...

Breathe...

Be in the moment...

I started to think about the week and my weigh in. I was bummed that I didn't lose weight but I was more than happy with my efforts so that trumped any negative feelings I may have had. I walked over 17 miles in one week worth of workouts. That was a first for me. I started thinking about the last time I was submerged under water. I used to love swimming and when I was young, I used to swim competitively for my local team. I don't really remember why I stopped but I do remember that I liked it. I was actually really good at it.

Age 10. with my swim coach during practice

My weight has had a lot to do with my not swimming or even going to the beach. Truth be told, it has held me back from doing a lot of things. The last time I was in a pool I think I was 18 & I was at a party. Drinking too much plus trying to impress a boy equals Marisol in the pool with her clothes on. Classy...

Do I want to be skinny? Yes but more importantly I want to be fit. I want to be able to be that girl in the red bathing suit who didn't care what she looked like & did what she wanted to. I may never be a size 4 like my sister but I want to be confident enough to take up swimming again. That's my goal. My plan for this week is to continue to push myself when I work out and make good, healthy choices.

A plan without a goal is just a wish. - Antoine de Saint-Exupery

There is no spoon

2011-11-14T13:27:00.001-08:00

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

Yesterday when I was on the treadmill I was having a really difficult time. My body felt tired & after walking 1 mile I wanted to give up. My training plan called for a 4 mile walk & I sort of freaked out. I've never walked 4 miles all at once and it scared me. I wanted to give up. I kept telling myself "five more minutes" and "just keep going". By the time I got to 3 miles, I knew that I couldn't stop so I walked 4.01 miles in an hour and 12 minutes. It took me longer than I thought it would but I was proud of myself for finishing it.

While on the treadmill, the Matrix was on & it kept my mind busy during my workout. If you've watched the movie, you know that the reference to the spoon helps Neo realize that it's all in his head - he has to look inside to exact any control, to bring about even the smallest change. The object doesn't exist, so he can't change it, he has to change himself.

That's what this week's weigh in is all about for me. I gained a pound & while I know why, I know that this week's efforts are not reflected on the scale. I tracked my food every day & since I did that, I am able to pinpoint what may have caused this gain - high sodium intake, bread & mixed nuts. I tracked them all but I know I had an excess of them even if I didn't go over my points. I also know that I pushed myself during this week's workouts:

Here's my week 2 workout breakdown as per the half marathon walk training guide:

Monday - planned rest day
Tuesday - plan was 30 minutes walking / 63:30 minutes on the treadmill (3.57 miles)
Wednesday - plan was a 20 minute walking/ 64 minutes on the treadmill (3.57 miles)
Thursday - plan was 30 minutes/ 54:55 minutes on treadmill (beat my previous 5K time by a minute)
Friday - planned rest day
Saturday - plan was 30 minutes walking/53:27 minutes on treadmill (beat Thursday's 5K time by almost a minute & a half)
Sunday - plan calls for a 4 mile walk/ I walked 4.01 miles in an hour & 12 minutes

Total milage walked was 17.35 miles (I have worked out 9 days out of the 15 for the No Excuses November challenge)

Usually, when I see that the scale has gone up I would call that a fail for the week. But not this week. It was a successful week for me. I want to be healthy & I know that this week I did my best & I am proud of my efforts. With the holidays coming up, I know that I am going to have to be stronger to temptation & continue with my workouts. I have not lost 75 pounds to just let it go to waste. I will not allow that to happen.

Just do it!

2011-11-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

Saturday

8:45 am - iPhone alarm goes off & I hit the snooze button

10:30 am - wake up again & check Twitter, Tumblr & like a few things on Facebook with one eye open. I should get up to go work out but I really don't want to. 5 more minutes...

Noon - ohmigod! I can't believe it's noon. Time to get up. Put on my workout clothes & shoes, check tunes on iPhone & am ready to go.

1:30 pm - on my bed playing Zynga Poker. I really don't want to go to the gym.

1:35 pm - getting somewhat hungry. Get a banana & some peanut butter. Decide to get my butt in gear & go to the gym.

1:44 pm - check in on Foursquare at the gym & realize it's day 8 out of 15 of the No Excuses November challenge. Walking up the 4 flights of stairs & I am still thinking that I don't want to be at the gym. It would be so easy to turn back around & go home.

2:00 pm - my plan for today called for a 30 minute walk. As I start to walk, I decide that's all I am going to do. I glance to the treadmill next to me & this guy is flying on the machine. He was running at 8 mph. I started to speed up & decided that I would walk at least a 5K loop on the treadmill.

Thank you Ryan for inspiring me to stay on the machine a bit longer

2:04 pm - decided to do some interval walking. I somehow got the motivation to push myself & every 4 minutes I would sprint walk for 1 minute. Realized that even though I am tall (5'8') I have short legs. Still hung on for dear life to the treadmill while sprinting.

2:54 pm - holy sh*t! I just beat my previous 5K time by a minute & a half. Whoo hoo!

I honestly did not want to go to the gym at all. But I am so glad that I did. After the gym, I went out dinner & then shopping at the outlets near my house. Scored all of this Nike gear for under $100. You can call me Sporty Spice.

I also treated myself to this delicious caramel pecan apple. Full of yum!

It would've been so easy for me to talk myself out of going to the gym. But I didn't. I have set goals for myself & I need to push myself to be able to succeed. Today's schedule calls for a 4 mile walk & I am actually looking forward to it. I probably won't do any sprinting as this will be the longest distance I've ever walked all at once. I did go on a 5 mile walk a while back but half way through we stopped for lunch & then walked back.

Have a great Sunday!

Working on my fitness

2011-11-11T08:00:00.000-08:00

Never thought I would get that message on Foursquare. I aim to be the mayor.
Yesterday, I decided to do the 5K loop on the treadmill. Usually I do the 30 minute quick start twice but I decided to try it this way since I am doing a 5K in two weekends. I wanted to see if I could improve my time & I did. My first 5K was 55:46 and my second one was 57:05 so I was really excited to see this time on the machine. It could've been a few seconds faster but I slowed down to be able to focus my camera right at 3.1 miles but I kept getting blurry pictures.
I tried something different last night & I think I am going to do it from now on when I am on the treadmill. I increased my speed and walk as fast as I could for a minute & then go back down to a slower speed for a few minutes. I guess this is what you would call interval walking/training. I was hanging on to that bar like my life depended on it. I actually felt like I got a better workout that way.
I never realized how sweaty my hands could get.
I actually did burn 556 calories since I did input my information. Yeah!
I took a picture at the end because when I saw myself in the mirror I didn't look like I was completely out of shape. I wasn't tired or panting even though I did have a hard workout. My hair is a hot mess though.
This makes it day 7 out of 15 of the No Excuses November challenge.
Today is rest day. Whew!
The plan for this weekend is 5k on the treadmill on Saturday & walking 4 miles on Sunday.

Success is steady progress toward one's personal goals

2011-11-10T13:32:00.001-08:00

In regards to my weight loss I have suddenly realized something. I thought that no cared how hurt, angry, and lonely I was. Why would they let me live like this? Why didn't anyone see my need for help? Turns out everyone around me did care. The only person who didn't seem to love me enough to try and help...was me. Weight loss is a personal battle one must fight alone. Yes you can get tools and support from others, but in the end of the day you must find the courage to change.

I read that on Tumblr yesterday and it rings true to my journey. With any addiction, the only person that can fight the battle is you. You can have all the support & tools but only you can make the choice to keep on fighting. I also started thinking about the progress that I've made in the past year. I am starting to care & love myself. I know I mentioned in the my last post that I am considering signing up for a half marathon. As scary as that is to me, the fact that I am considering is huge. I mean HUGE!

I used to be the type of person that would drive around the block to find the closest parking spot to my destination or wouldn't participate in anything that required any type of physical activity. But in the past 14 months I've changed & am no longer a person that doesn't care about myself anymore. This journey is about progress & every day I take steps to become a healthier me.

Speaking of progress, seeing how far I've come makes me a bit less terrified to committing to the half marathon especially since I really started upping my workouts as of July of this year even if I've had some setbacks. I'm still no Speedy Gonzalez but I am getting there.

October 2010

November 2011

Seeing my past & experiencing my present makes me excited for my future.

Note: the title of this post is a quote by Jim Rohn

What am I thinking?

2011-11-08T23:02:00.000-08:00

I have signed up for my third official 5K & I am so looking forward to it. I hope that now that I have better shoes I will be able to beat my previous time.

Out with the old, in with the new

Also, I may be signing up to walk for a 1/2 marathon in February 2012 (which coincides with the end of the half marathon training that I am following) & this 5K is part of the course. Whoa.... me signing up for a 1/2 marathon.

I'm so scared to even think about it but reading this quote from the Spartan Warrior makes me believe that I can do it.

You should be nervous about what lies ahead because you know it is going to push you to your limits. You’re going to be in pain. You’re going to hate doing some of it. You’re going to sweat. You’re going to grunt. You might scream and you might even cry. Hell, you might even get sick, but you know what? It’s worth it. Why? Because you’re better yourself. You’re going to be a better version of yourself before you did that workout. You’re better now than when you woke up this morning.

I won't be making the decision to sign up until the end of November so I have some time to think about it. Part of me just wants to sign up to not dwell on the decision.

omigod!

Milestone weigh in

2011-11-07T14:58:00.000-08:00

I reached a milestone today which seemed to take a long time. I am now down 75 pounds (or 75.2 to be exact) ever since I started WW in September 2010. I lost 1.2 pounds this week which I am really happy about especially after an almost 6 pound loss last week. My goals for this week were to work out 5 times this week, track my food & drink less soda/alcohol. I was successful this week. Woot woot! I tracked my food for 7 days and while I avoided alcohol, I did have 3 diet sodas during the week. Not too shabby.

Here's my week 1 workout breakdown as per the half marathon walk training guide:

Monday - planned rest day
Tuesday - plan was 30 minutes walking / I did 63 minutes on the treadmill & 7 minutes on the recumbent bike
Wednesday - plan was a 20 minute walking/ I did 30 minutes on the treadmill
Thursday - plan was 30 minutes/ I took it as a rest day. I wasn't feeling too well since Wednesday so I didn't work out
Friday - planned rest day
Saturday - plan was 30 minutes walking/I did 63 minutes on the treadmill
Sunday - plan calls for a 3 mile walk/ I walked 3.5 miles on the treadmill

Even though I didn't work out on Thursday as planned, I still feel good about my workouts this week. I am starting to up my speed on the treadmill & am seeing progress. When I first started this weight loss journey, it took me close to 26 minutes to walk a mile. Sunday I walked 3.5 miles in 63 minutes. I have now completed 4 days out of the 15 day No Excuses November challenge.

My goals for this week will be to continue tracking my food, follow week two of the training guide & to start researching what I need to do, besides working out, to be able to walk 13.1 miles in 3 months in a safe manner.

My next weight loss goal is to reach 85 pounds. With the holidays it may be tough to do this but I have the motivation & the drive to reach this goal before year end.

Doing & trying new things

2011-11-02T00:18:00.000-07:00

As of November 1, I once again have a gym membership. I had to wait til the beginning of the new month to sign up since I was added to my mom's account so I've been going as her guest. Tuesday I worked out for 70 minutes which included 60 minutes on the treadmill & 10 on the recumbent bike. I would've done more on the bike but towards the end of my treadmill workout my feet were getting numb & tingly. I think I need new sneakers so tomorrow I am going to the Sports Basement in SF to get fitted for a new pair.

I completed my first workout of many of the half marathon walking guide that I am following. It's also my first workout towards a November challenge I signed up for called No Excuses November (NEN). It's a challenge that's going around on Tumblr started by the Spartan Warrior. The challenge is pretty basic:

I’m challenging you to get in 15 workouts with no excuses over the course of the month of November. That’s it. It’s just 15 different days of workouts without making up an excuse, complaining or trying to squirm your way out of getting active.

Pretty simple right? You should join. It's not too late. If you need motivation, check out all these people that have joined up. Day 1 of the NEN is in the bag. I felt really good during my workout except for the shoe issue.

Today I also made my own trail mix. Ooohhh fancy! I really like Trader Joe's Tempting Trail Mix but I wanted to add more things to it so I decided to make my own. Here's my concoction & look I even have nutritional info. Oh my! If you follow Weight Watchers, each portion (1/3 of a cup) is 6 PointsPlus. It's very filling, sweet n salty & it makes for a great pre-workout snack!

Hope you have a great Hump Day!

November goals

2011-11-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

I don't know what happened to October as far as fitness goes. Actually, I do know what happened. I barely exercised and I wonder why I only lost a pound this month. You have no idea how disappointing it is to realize that in one month I lost a pound. I know that I need to get back to tracking. I was successful in September in losing weight. That month I lost 12 pounds. That was a combined effort of tracking & working out.

I realized that one of the reasons that I wasn't successful in reaching my exercise goals is that they were pretty loose goals. My goal for October was to achieve 1,000 minutes of exercise. However I didn't set a plan to achieve this goal. But that will be no more. If you follow me on Tumblr, I posted that I am thinking of committing to doing Bay to Breakers in May 2012 with my friend Karen. B2B is a 12K race that takes place in San Francisco and people participating dress up in costumes.

Right now, I honestly don't think I could run all of it in 7 months. My goal would be to partially jog some of it and walk the rest. But that won't happen if I don't prepare for it. It's never too early to start and I have a plan. After some research online, I came across Hal Higdon's Half Marathon Walking Guide.

Here's what he says about his plan:

Most reasonably fit individuals should be able to walk 13.1 miles in around four hours. Doing so is fun. It is also exciting to set goals and achieve them. But before starting to train for a race that long, assess your fitness level. Realistically: can you do it? The following 12-week walking program assumes you currently have the ability to walk for 30 minutes, three to four times a week.

The program lasts 12 weeks and begins at a fairly easy level. In Week 1, you walk only a half hour on most weekdays. Two days are for rest. One day on the weekend, you stroll at an easy pace. The other weekend workout features a prescribed distance: 3 miles the first weekend. As the program continues, the weekday walks gradually increase to a maximum of 45 minutes. The weekend walks also lengthen to a maximum 10 miles in Week 11, the week before the half marathon. Because the increases are gradual, you should be able to accommodate them without excessive strain. You will become a fitness walker and achieve an ability to complete a 13.1-mile walking event.

I don't consider myself reasonably fit yet but I know that I can easily walk 30 minutes, three to four times a week. I am going to follow this 12 week guide starting today through the end of January. My goal as of right now would be to walk a half marathon under 4 hours. I can do that, right? Gulp!

For the first four weeks, even though it says to walk during the week days between 25 to 40 minutes, I'll be committing to walking 60 minutes 4 times a week plus the assigned milage on the weekend. I know that I can walk for 60 minutes so why only walk 30? Setting this plan will definitely help me n reaching my 1,000 exercise minutes for the next couple of months. I needed a structured plan and I think I found it.

Even typing this out I am freaked out at the thought of even walking more than 5 miles. That's the farthest distance I've ever walked and I remember feeling extremely shaky afterwards. What gives me comfort is that there is no deadline. If by week 5 I don't think I can walk all of 6 miles, I can go as far as I can and redo that week again. I hope that by the end of the 12+ week training I will know whether I can see myself finishing B2B.

Along with this exercise goal, my weight loss goal for the rest of the year is to lose 18 pounds by January 2, 2012. That means I have to lose an average of 2 pounds a week. It won't be easy but I will try my hardest to do it.

Source: fumaga.com via Toni on Pinterest

Weigh in day & Fitbloggin' in the Bay

2011-10-31T13:44:00.000-07:00

5.8 pounds. Yup, that's how much I lost this past week. I had a fairly good idea of what my weigh in would be today as I got on the scale on Friday just to see how I was doing. I can't say that I tracked or exercised much this week. I think this loss was due to stress which isn't a good thing but I will definitely take it. I have finally lost what I gained when I went on vacation and a bit more. I am just one pound from reaching a 75 pound loss. I am going to concentrate on that pound this week.

On Saturday morning I met up with 5 other Bay Area bloggers for a Fitbloggin' meetup hosted by Tracey from TJ's Test Kitchen. It's really nice to meet up with people who strive to be healthy and have the same goals in mind. When we got there, I tried one of Danica's mini cranberry lemon muffins. Oh so good! Check out her site this week for the recipe. We started out our meetup by going on an hour walk and then went back to Tracey's house for our potluck pizza party. We all brought a variety of toppings to create one of a kind pizzas and salads.

Not to pat myself on the back but my pizza came out delish! It was half artichoke olive tapenade as the base, olives, zucchini, mozzarella cheese & caramelized onions. Other half is pizza sauce, turkey pepperoni, pineapple, cheese & sun dried tomatoes on wheat pizza dough. So yummy! I also had a small salad, fruit & a yummy diet soda cupcake. It was so good that I didn't even have time to take a picture of it. I will share some pictures that Danica from Danica's Daily took of that day.

Danica of Danica's Daily

Deb of Weight for Deb

Melissa of A Journey To Marvelous

Our awesome host Tracey of TJ's Test Kitchen

Anneleis of Le Vie En Route

I had a great day meeting up with these ladies and look forward to the next meetup!

Oh yes wait a minute Mr Postman

2011-10-28T13:52:00.000-07:00

I've never been so happy to see the postman show up at my house. Usually I get giddy because I am waiting for a package from Sephora but not this time. Two great things (although for varying reasons) were delivered today.

1 - I got a letter telling me that I was approved for a federal extension for unemployment benefits. I've been stressing out about it for the past two weeks. While it isn't as much as I was making while employed, it definitely helps me in paying some of the large bills I have which are mainly my student loans. I started applying for lower paying jobs which I am overqualified for and I may have to tweak my resume so that it doesn't show that I have as much experience as I do. Stressing about money sucks but at least now I don't have to stress so much.

2 - In September I had set a goal that I would get another Do Life shirt if I reached a 75 pound loss. I ordered it a while back anticipating losing that weight by mid October but I've had a few setbacks. But I got it today and this morning when I got on the scale, I think I may be reaching my 75 pound weight loss on my official weigh in on Monday. Perfect timing! The first shirt I ordered was a 2XL and this time I ordered an XL in Violet although it looks blue in the picture. I tried it on and it fits. Yes, it's a bit tight but I will be able to wear it soon. This definitely motivates me to be extra good this weekend.

Speaking of this weekend, I am going to another fitbloggin' meetup. A couple of the bloggers I met at the Breakfast Summit back in September are meeting up to go on a trail walk by the Napa River trail & also a potluck. I'm really looking forward to it. It's going to be a pizza potluck & we are all going to bring different toppings. Should be fun!

Canadian goodies

2011-10-25T14:00:00.000-07:00

Yay for Canadian friends! One of the great things about the beauty community is that you get to meet such cool people. Arianne from the Glitter Geek is one of them. She's a Canadian blogger who writes product reviews and enables me to buy more make up. She ended up doing a custom purchase for me & I got the goodies yesterday. I cannot wait to try them. She even included some extra goodies to my package.

Marcelle Essentials Purity Soothing Cleansing Water (review)
Annabelle Le Big Show mascara in Black (review)
Annabelle Smoothie Eyeshadow Pencil in Acaidasiac (review)

Arianne included Marcelle Lux Eye Dust is Go Violet & Marcelle Waterproof Eyeliner in Electric Blue. Both of these colors are so me.

I am so excited to try these goodies but especially the mascara. If you look at Arianne's review, her lashes look amazing. Thanks again Arianne!

Monday weigh in & dealing with rejection

2011-10-24T13:13:00.000-07:00

My goals for the past week were to avoid diet soft drinks & alcohol, track all my food & work out 4 times this week. I achieved 1/2 of these goals. I did manage to avoid diet sodas & alcohol and I did work out 3 times this past week. Tracking I did horribly with & I know why. Who wants to track their binges? No wonder I gained 1.6 pounds this week. I think my goals for this week will remain the same.

Even though I let go on my job frustrations at the gym on Wednesday, it's been weighing me down all week. The uncertainty is making me worry & stress. I have had this knot in my stomach for the past couple of days & I keep asking myself when I will get a job. It's all I can think about & I am becoming obsessed over it. What do I do? I graze. A lot. And then I binge. It doesn't matter what it is. I just eat. And I know I am not hungry. I feel so out of control with my current job situation so I let my food intake get out of control as well. It doesn't make sense. I regret it immediately but I can't seem to stop myself.

I need to learn to deal with the disappointment in a different way. I need to realize that I am not being the one rejected. It's just that there is a better candidate out there. I think the rejection is what is making me feel this way. It's making me feel like I am not good enough. If I am not good enough, then why continue on this path to getting healthy? I am obviously not worth it. Those are the thoughts that have been with me all week. I know better. I know I am worth it. But knowing & actually being are two different things.

I also figured out why my feet were hurting me so bad yesterday. Ready for a laugh? I had my clothes ready for yesterday morning and put on my Thorlo socks. So comfy & when I walk it feels like I am walking on the softest ground. Guess what genius put on her socks upside-down? The fluffy & comfy part of the sock was on TOP of my foot not on the bottom. It's a reminder not to get dressed in the dark while you are still partially asleep.

Grape Stomp 5k

2011-10-23T16:46:00.000-07:00

Today I got up at 5:45am & drove to Livermore to participate in the 8th Annual Grape Stomp Half Marathon/10k/5k race. My goal was to improve my 5k time from my previous timed race. I have no idea what my time was. I didn't use my Runkeeper to track the time because I had no signal but once the race results are posted I will let you see if I beat my time. I was bummed because even though we pre-registered & selected our shirt sizes there were only medium & small left. Boo!

It was a rough race. There were hills (oh f*ck! was what I was thinking when I got there) and the race was part on grass & part unpaved rocky road. The course was shared with the runners coming back from their half marathon & 10k so at times the course was a bit jumbled. My feet started hurting & feeling numb towards the end of the race. That's never happened before. I seriously just wanted to walk to my car & not finish. But I did finish but I don't think I beat my time. Oh my god those hills!

After the race we walked around a bit and then had brunch. Had a kick ass Monte Cristo and I don't even regret it. Since we were in an area where there area a lot of wineries, we stopped at two different ones to wine taste. I didn't drink because I felt dehydrated so I just kept chugging on some water. Afterwards we went to Menchie's and had some froyo. We don't have Menchie's near my house & I've heard about it on Twitter so I wanted to try it. It was good but I still think Pinkberry has the best froyo.

I had mentioned to my mom and her friends that I wanted to do a race per month and we decided to sign up for another one in November. Who knew it could be so addictive?

Edit: My official time was 57:05. My previous race I came in at 55:46. I'm pretty happy with that time since it was a rough day.

How I deal

2011-10-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

You can't change your situation, the only thing you can change is how you chose to deal with it.

I read this quote yesterday and I agree with it. However, this is how I felt this morning.

I feel like crying. Maybe I should just let myself. I had a phone interview today with the hiring manager in what seemed to be a great opportunity & the recruiter called me back & told me that I wasn't going to be getting an in person interview. I keep getting my hopes up at these job opportunities. I've probably submitted over 100 resumes to different places and probably gotten 5 callbacks if that. I've never felt so rejected in my life. It's definitely bruising my already busted ego to not get a callback. Fuck, rejection sucks! I don't even want to work out anymore. I just want to go back to bed and sleep. I feel like a failure right now.

If you follow me on Tumblr, you would have seen that yesterday I posted that today I was going to go to the gym for the first time in 17 years. I felt really upset this morning & I could've easily dealt with life in a negative way. Instead, I went to the gym with my mom and worked out for close to 90 minutes. I left my frustrations & anger on the exercise machines. I was feeling defeated and while things aren't any different right now, I feel so much better that I did life today rather than stay home and pout.

I went as my mom's guest to see if I wanted to sign up. I don't want to commit to something and then not go especially since I have to be mindful of my spending. I started out on the elliptical & I only survived for about 5 minutes. That thing is a beast! My legs felt like jello after 5 minutes. So ridiculous! But now I have a starting point. I decided to get on the treadmill next. I really enjoyed walking on it. I never thought I would say that. I walked for about 30 minutes because my legs felt all jittery. I got on the the stationary bike and worked out for about 20 minutes. I can't even remember the last time I was on a bike. Damn that was hard work. Since I was waiting for my mom, I decided to get back on the treadmill and walked for another 30 minutes.

In total, I worked out for 86 minutes and burned 938 calories. Not too shabby for what started out as a crappy day. And yes, I am going to join.

Decisions

2011-10-17T18:18:00.000-07:00

We make decisions every day. Some of them are really important (what do I want to do with my life) and some aren't as important (I think I will my black Chucks today). But life is based on the decisions you make and that's what shapes your days, weeks, months, etc.

I made the conscious decision to cut loose a bit while in Mexico & it's been hard to make the decision to get back on track. Let me rephrase that; it's been difficult to get back on track after making the decision to be healthier. I spent the weekend in the South Bay because Saturday night I went to the Journey & Foreigner concert.

This picture captured some of the decisions I made that night:
1. Drinking a crappy, overpriced bottle of wine out of a plastic guitar container. Classy!
2. Striking that pose. Seriously?
3. Go out and have fun with my only concern being enjoying myself. I did have a blast!

That last decision made me dread getting on the scale this morning. I for sure thought that the scale would show a gain and I waited as much as I could to get on the scale. I was surprised that I maintained. I am not happy about it because I am supposed to be working hard at getting healthy & I haven't been.

I'm making really short term goals in hopes that I can get back to where I was motivation wise a couple of weeks ago so that I can start succeeding in my short term goals. For this week, my goals are to avoid diet soft drinks & alcohol, track all my food & work out 4 times this week.

Make your next decision a good one.

I've got mail

2011-10-14T20:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Marisol,

Lately you’ve been sucking at life. Sounds harsh but girl you know it’s true. You were doing so well but it’s like you stopped caring. Why is that?

You seem to have forgotten how good you feel after you work out. Your food choices lately leave something to be desired.

Remember why you are doing this. Remember that you are worth it. You’ve done so well in the past year that you can’t give up. You can’t go back to where you were a year or even 6 months ago.

You deserve to live the life that you want for yourself.

Love,
Marisol

Here and now

2011-10-10T14:59:00.000-07:00

I went. I ate. I had fun. Do I regret it? Nope. But when I came back and got on the scale, I freaked. That moment is one of the few were I wished I was a victim of Montezuma's Revenge. But since my official weigh in day wasn't until today I worked hard to get back on track. I still have a gain (3.6 pounds) but it had been worse a few days ago.

I had been tracking my food every day but while on vacation I stopped. I could say that it was the fact that I had limited internet access but that's not true. I felt like if I didn't track it, it was ok to eat it because I wasn't accounting for it. Such a stupid way of thinking. Trust me, I know that it's lame to think of it that way. The tracking counter is down to 0 again. I am 60 days away from getting my Fitbit.

To be honest, I don't feel like I deserve to get this Fitbit. It would only taunt me in saying "hey you only worked out 400 minutes last month (7 days)" or "hey you're ten days into the new month and you've only worked out 2 days". Or it could also remind me that I have completely abandoned my second try at the 5k Your Way plan. I really don't need to track that failure. My goal for the rest of the month is to log 1,000 minutes of workouts. That means I have 21 days to get in 880 minutes of exercise. I can do it.

I can only concentrate on the here & now. I am not going to let myself feel bad or ashamed that I haven't done my best the past couple of weeks. It happened & now I gotta do my best again.

My trip as captured by my iPhone

2011-10-08T22:39:00.000-07:00

I had a great time on my trip. I spent quality time with my family, got a chance to relax in the sun & try some amazing food. Here are some pictures from my time in Mexico. It was a very low key trip & just what I needed.

Flying over Cancun

Taking a walk along the beach

Love the color of the water

With my niece Raquel

View of Cancun from the balcony of the condo

Getting my work out on with my nieces

Chicken mole... yum!

Leaving Cancun

This is what 4 hours of sleep looks like.

Good bye Cancun

Quality time with my nieces

Angel of Independence in Mexico City

Mexico City

Garlic chips

mmm meat

Latin American Tower

Ready to celebrate Day of the Dead

Leaving on a jet plane...

2011-09-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

Going on a short trip to Cancun. Really excited to go & spend time with family. Last time I was there was in 2005 & I felt like a whale. While I'm still heavy, I feel much more confident this time around.

I hope to get in some great walks on the beach & my goal is to maintain while having a good time.

Catch you all next week!

Traveling pants

2011-09-27T12:58:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have an article of clothing that you've always wanted but never found in your size or the style that you wanted? When I used to go to raves back in my late teens/early 20s, I always wanted a pair of cargo pants. All my friends had them and I could never find them in my size. As time went by and I stopped going to raves, I didn't think of the pants anymore.

About 5 or 6 years ago, I found a pair of cargo pants that were two sizes too small but I wanted them. I bought two of them - khaki & a light gray. I knew that I wanted to lose weight but never had the will do do it & I always thought "I will fit into them one day". When I moved from Marin County to the Central Valley, these pants came along with me. I would try them on at times and they didn't fit. It was discouraging but I still kept them. When I moved back to the Bay Area, these pants were my companion. Back in June of this year when I was packing up my apartment to move back to my mom's, I tried on the pants. They almost fit. Back into the closest they went.

You know how I mentioned that one day I would lose enough weight to get them to fit? That day is today. I was packing up some clothes for a trip that I am going on tomorrow and I saw the pants. I slowly got them out of my closet and tried them on. I was able to zip them up & button them up with no trouble. They fit just right. HOLY MUTHER TRUCKERS!

I know we are having summer weather here in the Bay Area, so if you see a girl with cargo pants don't judge her. She's worked really hard to get into them & is gonna wear them til they fall off.

Edited to add picture :)

Another four bite the dust

2011-09-26T09:59:00.000-07:00

Ever have one of those weeks when you get on the scale & can't believe the number? You step off and get on a couple of times to make sure your eyes aren't deceiving you? That happened to me this morning. My goal for the week was to lose 1.2 pounds to reach the 70 pound mark. I lost 4.4 pounds this week. HOLY SH*T! That's all I kept thinking as I got on and off the scale. I am now down 73.2 pounds.

Why am I so shocked? Losing 4+ pounds in a week is a big deal for me since I've been doing Weight Watchers for 53 weeks. For a while there, I would lose two weeks in a row and then gain some of it back. For the past 7 weeks, I've been losing weight except for the one week when I maintained. My goal for this week is to maintain. Why? I am going out of town from Thursday through Monday so basically eating out all the time. I will make good choices. I will make good choices. I will make good choices.

As of yesterday, I have now been tracking my food for 14 days straight. Only 46 more days until I reach my goal of tracking for 60 consecutive days & that Fitbit will be mine. I find that I won't eat something since I know that I have to track it. As Cyndi would say "if you bite it, track it" and as Kelly told me "if you nibble it, scribble it." And speaking of rewards, I am 1.8 pounds away from reaching 75 pounds which would mean getting another Do Life shirt. I am tempted to go to a Weight Watchers meeting & pay for the meeting (I am online member) just to get the 75 pound charm. I wonder if they will let you do that?

And yesterday I talked about an awesome non-scale victory. Looking back I wish I had better before pictures but I don't. Even now I rather take pictures than be in them. The picture on the left was taken yesterday before I participated in the 5k. The one of the upper right hand corner is what I consider my before picture. It was taken in July of 2010. The bottom right hand corner has a picture of the shirt I was wearing that day. The size is 28w (ugh!) and the one underneath it is what I wore yesterday. It's a freaking XL!

Fitbloggin', meeting internet friends & a 5k oh my!

2011-09-25T15:29:00.000-07:00

I had a great time this weekend. From attending my first fitbloggin' meetup in SF to meeting up with a friend from Chicago and ending with a 5k race.

A while back I heard about a local fitbloggin' meetup in SF being hosted by Attune Foods. I drove to SF pretty early and met up with some Bay Area bloggers. I "knew" about 1/2 of the bloggers in attendance since I read their blogs & follow them on Twitter. It was great meeting them in person. The bloggers in attendance were:

Picture from Danica's blog

Danica of Danica's Daily
Tracey of TJ’s Test Kitchen
Marlene of Nosh My Way
Anna & Jillian of Cubicle Chronicles
Danielle of Eat, Sweat, Smile
Annelies for Attune Foods
Melissa of Journey to Marvelous
Courtney of Pancakes and Postcards
Suki of Super Duper Fantastic

One of the two breakfast bars set up

Attune Foods products

Attune Foods (along with other sponsors) provided an awesome goodie bag and breakfast bar. Since I can only find Uncle Sam's Original Cereal I decided to try the Honey Almond cereal with almond milk, blueberries & strawberries. Yum! Annaleis also invited Registered Dietitian Jae Berman to talk to the group about the importance of breakfast & to answer any questions we may have had for her. Some of the things she mentioned were:

Breakfast lowers stress hormones
4 hours of sugar/glucose is what the body holds so she recommends eating every 3 to 4 hours
If you don't eat, the body holds on to fat especially in the stomach area
Try to eat a combination of protein & carb with every meal
If you don't eat before working out, you could gain weight because the body is starving
Spread calories throughout the day
Chocolate milk is a great drink after a long run

After that, we all walked over to the Ferry Building to walk around & explore the farmer's market. Unfortunately, we sort of spread out and I was unable to find anyone towards the end. I really enjoyed my time & I hope to meet up with them soon.

Afterwards I met up with my friend Emily who is from Chicago. Emily & I "met" through a site called Gals' Guide. We both used to write for it and started following each other on Twitter. We both have a passion for make-up so we constantly chat about it. When she told me that she was going to be in SF I knew that we had to meet up. I'm always worried that when I meet someone that I know online there may be some awkwardness. I am happy to report that meeting up with Emily (and her friend Taelor) was like catching up with an old friend.

Foggy San Francisco

Today I got up early to participate in the Race for the Cure 5k benefiting the Susan G Komen foundation. I was able to get a group to go and off we went back to SF. My goal was to beat my previous time (54:55) & I beat it with a time of 53:50. A minute improvement makes me happy. Like I've mentioned before, my goal is to participate in a 5k a month & each time to improve my time.

On your mark

I thought these signs were really neat

We finished!

Happy after finishing :)

I also had a pretty rad non-scale victory today. When I went to get my shirt, then had run out of 2x. I was pretty bummed and got an extra large. I thought that I wasn't going to be able to wear it for the race. However.... IT FIT! I was so happy. It was a bit tight at first (that's why I am wearing my jacket) but afterwards when we got breakfast I took my jacket off and it didn't feel or look tight anymore. Wheee! A year ago I used to wear 3x tops and now I can wear a xl. Hell yeah!

Tomorrow I have my weigh in. Will I hit 70 pounds? Stay tuned...

You gotta rub the oil

2011-09-20T22:37:00.000-07:00

Ever since I heard about kale chips, I've tried making them several times & they've never came out like they were supposed to. They were either too crispy (meaning burnt) or soggy of half soggy & half burnt. I was going to give up but since I really like potato chips, I wanted to find a healthy alternative.

I started searching for tips and found a great post on The Chic Life.I tried making them the way she suggests which is what I had been doing before except for one thing - getting the kale leaves evenly coated. That was the issue. I never coated them evenly. In the post, it's suggested that you actually rub the oil on the kale to make sure it's got an even coat. Seems tedious but it really isn't. It's also worth it because I attempted to make them tonight & they came out so good. They came out perfectly crispy and yummy. This is a snack that you can eat and not feel guilty about doing so.

I've also seen recipes to make jicama & zucchini chips so I am going to give those a try & see how they turn out.

365 Days of Weight Watchers

2011-09-19T16:18:00.000-07:00

A year ago today I walked into Weight Watchers & started working on a better version of myself. That morning I didn't know that I was going to sign up to Weight Watchers or that my life was going to be changing. I happened to be going to the mall and drove by the WW center. I decided to join and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made. This morning I weighed in and with a 1.8 pound loss, I am down 68.8 pounds in a year. Borrowing the idea from Cyndi (who has lost 50 lbs on WW & is pretty rad so check out her blog) I went back through a year of posts to see how far I've come.

I realized that "awareness brings change" and one key to help me succeed will be to plan ahead. I am still working on that one.

Wanna walk a mile in my shoes? It will probably take you 26 minutes.

I set & met my first fitness goal. For someone who was pretty much sedentary all of her adult life, this was a big deal.

Not only am I changing physically but mentally as well.

I hit my 10% loss on WW. It was a very exciting day!

I lost my mojo but I found it. Looking back it seems that I misplace it every so often. But I always find my way back.

Dealing with the ups & downs of life.

I walked 5 miles for the first time in my life. And I also went ton my first hike & didn't die. Pretty exciting!

I started to venture more into cooking. I've tried out a few recipes here & there and I actually enjoy it.

I acknowledged for the first time that I am a binger. I have to take it one day at a time.

Even though I was afraid, I decided to be brave.

I stepped out of my comfort zone and did life.

I apologized to my body for mistreating it for so many years.

I looked back at my past and got a clear picture of my present.

I also made the decision to be selfish. Doing what's best for me has never felt so good.

I got inked. It's a visual reminder to keep doing life.

Remember that 26 minute mile? It doesn't take me that much time anymore.

I gave you my confessions and started working on them.

Weight Watchers isn't a diet for me. It's a way of life. Following this plan has pushed me into being an active participant in my life. Seeing who I was in September of 2010 and seeing who I am now, it makes me proud of what I have accomplished. I am not done yet but seeing my progress I know that I will reach my goal weight. And that isn't a number on the scale. My goal is to be healthy, fit and most of all, happy with who I am.

Via Kaoti Revelations

Giants Heart Walk

2011-09-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

I participated in the 2011 Giants Heart Walk in San Francisco. It could not have been a nicer day. It seems that SF is finally getting into summer. When I signed up for this event, I was under the impression that it was going to be a 5k. At least that was the info provided when I signed up. It turned out to be more of a 4k.

Walking underneath the Bay Bridge

The event was put on my the SF Giants and the American Heart Association. Subway provided lunch and Del Monte foods was also a big sponsor. I got there a bit early and walked around the different booths. Finally at noon we were ready to walk. My goal was to beat my previous 5k time. However that was not possible for a number of reasons:

See the amount of people that were walking. I took this picture on my way back. They couldn't really close the street so we walked on the sidewalk. I felt like a sheep. And on the way back, we were going single file at some points during the route. Not at all what I was expecting. Also, it was a 4k walk rather than 5k.

Walk swag - tshirt & water bottle

I'm still glad that I participated but I had a different goal in mind. I am participating in the Race for the Cure 5k which will be a timed event so I am thinking of this walk as a practice run. I am also proud of myself for going because participating in this kind of event is something that puts me outside my comfort zone.

Tracking

2011-09-15T18:53:00.000-07:00

I've been tracking every morsel of food and every sip of water I have had since Sunday. I weighed in this morning to see how I was doing. I am down 2 pounds so far. Happy doesn't even describe how I felt when I saw the scale. Tracking does work. I found myself watching more closely what I eat because I don't want to go over my points. It's helping me from overeating and for that alone I will continue tracking.

Yes, it can be a tad tedious to track but if I have time to play Angry Birds or Words With Friends on my phone, I certainly have time to track my food. I've also worked out 3 days this week so that has helped with my weight loss as well. I have a 5k that I am participating in tomorrow and my plan is to work out the weekend.

I really want a 3 pound loss this week. As Monday is my official weigh in day, it will also be 52nd week on WW. It would be awesome to reach a 70 pound loss this Monday and I am 3 pounds away from it. I can't believe I've been doing this for a year. I have tried other diets and I usually lasted a month if that. I think that's what I like about WW. It really isn't a diet. It's more about portion control and making better choices.

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have seen that I posted that I bought a heart monitor. Today I returned it. It was too distracting. I kept checking it during my workout. I also remembered why I don't like watches. I just don't like something that is so heavy on my wrist. To spend that money on something that I won't wear is just silly.

However, I do want to track my workouts. I like seeing the data and it helps in challenging me. I am thinking of getting a Fitbit. I've seen some positive reviews and what I like about it is that it's not invasive. You dont' even know you have it on. I know it doesn't track my heart rate but it's a fancy pedometer and it will tell me the calories burned. But I just can't be dropping $100 on a gadget when I am on a limited income. I decided to make it a reward. If I can continue to track my food for 60 consecutive days then I will get be getting it for myself.

How's your week going? Today I also discovered the yum factor that Larabars have. I tried the chocolate chip brownie. Nom!

Maintaining

2011-09-13T15:53:00.000-07:00

I weighed in yesterday and I maintained. Yay? As always I was expecting a loss but as I mentioned here, I really haven't been doing WW the way it's supposed to be done. I also didn't exercise as much last week. But that was last week and since yesterday I have tracked my food and worked out both days.

This week I will start the 5k Your Way plan again and my goal for doing this is to beat my previous times. Also having a goal of 1,000 minutes of exercise certainly pushes one to work out. I bough a heart monitor this weekend. Why? I want to understand how my body works and what I have to do to make my workouts more successful. Do you know how to calculate your target heart rate as it relates to exercise/walking? I didn't so I did some research and found some things out. To calculate your heart rate you should:

Subtract your age from 220. This will give you your maximum heart rate in beats per minute.
Multiply that number by .60 to get 60 percent of your maximum heart rate and then by .80 to get 80 percent of your maximum heart rate.
This range will give you your target heart rate zone. For example, Jenny is 30 years old. To determine her maximum heart rate we will:
Subtract 30 from 220, which gives us 190 Multiply 190 x .60, which equals 114 Multiply 190 x .80, which gives us 152. While walking, Jenny should ensure that her heart rate is between 114 and 152 beats per minute.
Check your pulse several times throughout your walk to be sure you are staying with in the zone. Beginner walkers should stay close to the lower range of the target heart rate zone until they feel comfortable and ready for a more intense walk.

If I follow this guideline, my heart rate should be between 113 & 150 beats per minute to effectively burn calories and fat while strengthening my heart. I'll have to see how I do on my next few workouts and report back.

I am participating in the American Heart Association/Giants Heart 5k Walk on Friday. I'm pretty excited about it and that's surprising because this is something that I wouldn't have signed up for in the past.

Via Skinny+Little+Bitch

These are my confessions

2011-09-10T20:33:00.000-07:00

As it relates to getting healthy. Any other type of confession you must be a priest to hear those.

I kid.

Maybe.

I've been on WW for close to a year and I've probably tracked my food for maybe 20 days out of the 300+ days that have gone by. I start off tracking and then give up. I can only guesstimate that I am below or above my points. I don't know when I've gone over one or 10 points per day.
I also don't drink my 8 glasses of water a day, 3 servings of milk & milk products, track my produce intake or even worry about healthy oils. These are things that I've never even though of since joining WW. Well maybe the water I do try to be good with but I am not always on point.
I've only worked out twice this week which is not what I am supposed to do according to my fitness plan. I am supposed to get at least 30 minutes per day. AT LEAST. Why haven't I worked out? Because I didn't want to. A simple & stupid reason not to.
I've been watching more TV in the past two weeks than I have in the past 2.5 years. I didn't have cable when I lived on my own (by choice) and now that I am in a different living environment, it's so easy to turn on the TV and watch reruns of Friends or Sex and the City. Oh and what do I do while watching TV? Eat.
I've been overeating lately. It hasn't been "bad" food but it still over eating. I am eating to feel full not because I am full.
I don't practice what I preach.

So what am I going to do now? Keep going down this path? Hell no. But I wanted to put this down in writing to make me SEE what I am doing to myself and to stop doing it. I've been giving WW a half ass attempt and I've lost 67 pounds. Can you imagine how much more I could've lost if I had done WW the right way?

Starting this moment, I am going to track EVERYTHING. Even on those days when I know I am going to go over. I am wasting my money and time by not doing the plan the right way.

This week is a do over. I won't count it for my second attempt at the 5k You Way plan. Tomorrow I plan on doing at least an hour of cardio and Monday I will begin the plan from week one.

The fall TV season is soon approaching and there are a few shows that I enjoy. In order for me to watch them, I need to have done my exercise for the day and tracked my food. Otherwise no TV for me. Sounds childish to do this but in looking back I realized how much of a food enabler my TV can be. For crying out loud, it's an inanimate object. WTF!

These are my confessions. I am not perfect and I don't want to be. I just want to do the best I can. Use the tools that I have and use them to better myself.

Via Me, Myself & I.

I cooked & didn't burn the house down

2011-09-08T21:00:00.000-07:00

Something that has helped me succeed with WW is that I keep looking for new food to eat. Otherwise I get bored with my meals and that’s when I tend to make bad food decisions. I saw a recipe for Low Fat Lasagna Cups from Danica’s Daily & I had to try them. Best of all is that each cup is only 2 PointsPlus and so good.

Ingredients

Ready to go into the oven

Hot cheesy goodness

Enjoy!

Here is a picture of the finished product from Danica’s blog. I think hers looked so much prettier than mine.

It's a beauty post!

2011-09-07T21:47:00.000-07:00

I wanted to give a small review and update to some of the items in my previous Sephora haul. Since I am not working, I am trying to limit the amount of beauty products I purchase. It's a bad habit but one that I enjoy.

Kate Somerville Exfolikate Intensive Exfoliating Treatment - I LOVE THIS STUFF. I buy the 1/2 ounce container for $19 and it lasts about 6 months. I use it weekly and now that I finally found my Clairsonic Mia charger (yay!) I can use it again with it. Leaves your skin feeling smooth and supple. I use about a pea size amount all over my face. I recommend you use it at night since it will leave your face a bit red.

Shiseido Ultimate Sun Protection Cream in SPF 55 - this is the first time that I buy sun protection cream. I usually rely on the SPF in my moisturizer or foundation. But since I wanted to get some protection while walking, I decided to give this one a try. I purchased the 1.2 oz container for $19.50 because I wanted to try it out. It got great reviews and now I know why. It has a pleasant scent and it does not leave a grey tint to my face. I like it and will be repurchasing again.

Murad Age Spot & Pigment Lightening Gel - what a bust! I read reviews about this product and it said that you would notice a difference in 3 weeks. I used it every day at night after I washed my face and there is NO difference at all. I took it back to Sephora today. What a disappointment especially since it was $60. Perhaps it isn't what I am looking for.

I ended up going to Sephora today to return the Murad gel and I exchanged it for First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream & a NARS blush. The cream I use as a daily moisturizer and it works great. I have dry skin and this cream gives my skin the moisture it craves. As for the NARS blush, I got it in Mata Hari which is a matte rose metal pink color. Such a pretty color!

Oh yeah, I also got another sample of the Boyfriend fragrance. The fragrance notes are dark plum, myrrh, night blossoming jasmine, benzoin tears, skin musk, golden amber and vanilla woods. This isn't my kind of fragrance since I mostly prefer fresh & clean scents but there is something about this perfume that I really like.

What's new in your beauty stash?

Gotta keep motivated

2011-09-07T16:44:00.000-07:00

We all know it's helps to reward yourself when losing weight. It motivates me to keep on going. Here's what I am aiming to get in the near future:

Current weight loss is 67 pounds.
75 pounds - another Do Life shirt
85 pounds - Boyfriend perfume.*
93 pounds - new workout clothes
100 pounds - iPhone 5 **

How have you rewarded yourself?

* If you haven't smelled this perfume, RUN to Sephora ladies. It's all kinds of amazing.

** If I'm eligible for an upgrade. If not, I'll think of something else.

If there is no struggle, there is no progress.

2011-09-05T16:53:00.000-07:00

If there is no struggle, there is no progress. - Frederick Douglass

I was waiting for it. What is IT exactly? I've been waiting to feel blue/down/depressed about my job situation. It hit me when I least expected it. All day on Friday everyone was talking about how much there were looking towards their three day weekend due to Labor Day. It made me realize that for the past 5 months, my days have pretty much been the same. I know longer celebrate Thursday Eve, get excited over TGIF or bitch about the weekend coming to an end. Sometimes it feels like Groundhog day.

I started thinking more about this as I started my walk on Friday and I started to get really upset about my employment situation. I've been actively looking ever since I got laid off and only one company has called me back. I've come to the realization that I may have to look for something in a lower salary bracket. I may have to start over in a new career. The more I thought about it, the more upset I got and the slower I walked. After about 20 minutes, I stopped walking and sat down at a near by bench. I took off my earphones and sat there in silence. And I started to cry. (Thank the lord for oversize sunglasses) I've cried 3 times since April - the day I got laid off, the day I made the decision to move out of my apartment in SF and this past Friday.

I sat there for a while and just thought about the past 5 months and how my life has changed. I was totally bummed and feeling sorry for myself. I ended up going to the grocery store and getting some snacks. I didn't binge but I definitely ate way over my daily point allowance. I was feeling bad mentally and I also wanted to feel bad physically. Saturday I made the decision not to work out. I really just wanted to wallow in the misery I was feeling. I know worse things are happening to people and that my life is pretty good if I compare it to others but I think I was just in a bad place mentally.

I think that's why I sort of had a panic attack Sunday morning before I started to walk my 5k. I was feeling guilty for not working out the past two days and mad at myself at the same time for not working out. I mean, I was going so strong with the 5 week 5k plan and to end on such a bad note was not an option.

I am really glad that I beat my 5k time. It was the motivation I needed to get out of my funk. And seeing a loss of 1.4 pounds on the scale this morning also made me feel good. My hard work is paying off. Looking at how much I accomplished in August made me proud of myself. I know my job situation is temporary but sometimes I forget. When I look back at the past 5 months, it has gone so fast and I don't see a clear future ahead.

Right now, I gotta concentrate on getting healthy while the job situation works itself out. Today I signed up for the Race for the Cure 5k race. That's two 5k races in a month since I am also participating in the Giants/American Heart Association 5k. I also have to remember that in 11 months I've lost 67 pounds and now matter what, I cannot and will not gain them back.

Hard work paid off

2011-09-04T14:27:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed that I the past two days I didn't update on my exercise status. That's because there wasn't any. I was supposed to have walked 2.75 miles on Friday and done an hour of cardio yesterday to prepare for my 5k today. I was in a bad place mentally on Friday and after walking about a mile at a slow ass pace, I gave up and went home. I will talk more about that in a later post.

Yesterday I just didn't feel like working out. I knew that I was going to do a 5k today and I knew that I had to do it. After 5 weeks of following the plan, I couldn't just not do it. I got up early this morning and drove into SF. When I first started walking, I felt out of breath and my heart started beating really fast. I've never had that happen. I couldn't catch my breath. I had to stop for a few minutes to try to control my breathing. After I calmed down some, I started walking again and started speeding up.

For as much as I hate the voice on my Runkeeper, I am glad that I was listening to her today. I have it set to give me a status every 5 minutes and when I saw that I was falling behind, I knew I needed to do something so that I would beat my previous time. So what did I do?

I started to jog.

Ok let's stop for a minute and read that back because even I can't believe it.

I jogged today. The only way I would ever jog/run is if I had someone or something chasing me. But today for some reason, I was inspired to jog. I looked around to see if anyone was around me and I jogged for a couple of seconds. Then I would walk. And then I would look around again and jog for a longer period of time. I couldn't believe it. If I wasn't so self conscious about people seeing me working out, I would have probably jogged sonner. I was not as fast as an out of shape Kenyan runner but I was jogging. Holy shit!

My goal was to beat my previous time of 57:50. My time today was 54:54 which is almost a 3 minute improvement in about 6 weeks. When I looked at my Runkeeper app I realized that last time I didn't walk 3.1 miles since I took a short cut by accident. But since I was trying to beat that time in the exact route, I followed it and walked for 3.01 miles.

I am relieved that these 5 weeks paid off. I think if I hadn't had that bit of a freak out at the beginning, I could've probably had a shorter time. But I am happy with the end result. I am going to do the 5k Your Way plan again for the next five weeks and my goal will be to improve my time for each walk. Since I used Runkeeper, I will be able to compare each day's activity. I have a 5k that I am participating in on September 16th so I need to continue walking so I don't lose my momentum. It will also help me reach my goal for September of working out 1,000 minutes.

Dude, I jogged today. Like whoa!

August in Numbers

2011-09-01T14:15:00.000-07:00

31 - days in the month

20 - days I worked out

11,100 - calories burned

991 - minutes worked out

6.4 - pounds lost

1 - tattoo

I feel really good about these numbers. I don't think I've ever worked out so much in a month.

I use MyFitnesspal, Runkeeper & Weight Watchers to track my progress

Will I ever learn?

2011-08-31T19:49:00.000-07:00

I had set a goal back on August 6th that if I reached a 70 pound loss by the end of August, I would get another Do Life shirt. I am 4.4 pounds short of my goal. Since I didn't meet my goal, I have donated what I would've spent on the shirt directly to To Write Love On Her Arms.

I spent part of the day today catching up to Project Runway. What a bad idea. I think I sat in front of the TV for three hours and besides watching the show, I was eating and eating and eating and eating. It's not like I was hungry. Because I wasn't. It was just to have something to do. I feel so gross right now. Even though I didn't eat "bad" food, I still shouldn't have done it. Why do I do it? Bleh…

Awesome NSV

2011-08-29T20:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday when I went to work out, I was feeling very motivated. Maybe I still had some endorphins left over from my tattoo. But as I started walking, I felt strong. When I finished & looked at my Runkeeper app to see my stats, I was shocked at my pace. What was it? A little bit of background first...

Back in September 2010 when I first started WW, there were times when my back would hurt from walking even a block. Now that I really think about it, it was a pretty sad way of living. I started out working out doing the 1 mile Walk Away the Pounds DVD. It's 20 minutes of low impact cardio. At first, I couldn't even finish it. As time went by, I was able to complete it without feeling like I was dying. Then I moved on to the 2 mile, then 3 and 4 mile. The 4 mile is basically one hour of cardio.

I started getting bored with the DVDs and since I lived so close to the Golden Gate Bridge, I decided to walk it. Whenever we had family, this was something that I always avoided. I always dropped them off and picked them up on the other side. I remember the first time I walked it it took me close to 30 minutes to walk a mile. It's embarrassing to even say it but it's true. I was so out of breath and my heart felt like it was beating so fast. I was constantly stopping. However, I started to walk more and it started to get easier. I wasn't feeling so out of shape and a mile didn't seem like that long of a distance.

I was looking at some of my Runkeeper history and back in April I was walking a 22 minute mile. So slow but for someone who walked the mile in 30 minutes that's an improvement right?

Well, yesterday my app said that my pace was 17:01 miles per minute. Say what? Again to most this is slow but for me it's a HUGE improvement. I couldn't believe it. At first I thought my app was incorrect. I did pause the app during the walk to take a picture so I thought maybe that had something to do with it.

I went back today to the same location and walked trying to see if I could replicate yesterday's results. My pace was 18 minutes today however I think I would've walked faster if it wasn't for the heat. Where I walk is right next to the water so I had a jacket with me. After my walk today, I looked like a bright red sweaty tomato. I had to stop my brisk walk after 40 minutes because I felt like I was going to pass out. The heat was too much and I got to the point where my mouth was dry and I felt sick.

But that means that my app was right yesterday. In the right conditions, I can walk a 17 minute mile. For me, that's something to celebrate. I decided that I would do the 5k Your Way plan again and try to beat my previous time from the past 5 weeks.

I feel good!

2011-08-29T08:55:00.000-07:00

Whoa-oa-oa! I feel good, I knew that I would, now
I feel good, I knew that I would, now...

Weighed in this morning and I lost 3.4 pounds. Yeah! Total so far is 65.6 pounds. Woot woot!

W4D5 completed last night with a 40 minute brisk walk.

Schedule for week 5:
Day 1 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)
Day 2 - walk 40 continuous minutes
Day 3 - rest day but I will be doing at least 30 minutes of cardio
Day 3 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)
Day 4 - walk 2.75 miles
Day 5 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)
Day 6 - walk 5k and see if time has improved from previous 5k
Day 7 - rest day but I will be doing at least 30 minutes of cardio

I can't believe that I am at the end of the last week of the 5k Your Way plan. I need to figure out what I am going to do next. Part me of thinks I should follow the 5k plan again and on the days that I have to walk I should try to beat my previous time. Or I thought of following this 10k walking plan although it is a bit ambitious.

What do you think? Should I work on my speed first or concentrate on endurance?

Inked

2011-08-28T21:16:00.000-07:00

I've been wanting a tattoo for a really long time. But since it's something that is permanent, I wanted it to be something that meant a lot to me. I went from wanting a Gemini symbol to a design of the sun & sea (for my name). But there wasn't anything that really got my attention. I then decided that I wanted some sort of phrase on my left wrist. I had a phrase that I saw in a book and liked it. It said "a full life... no regrets". I like the meaning behind it but then I thought it would be too cluttered.

At the end of July, I went to the 5k Do Life event in San Francisco. That day was a a day of firsts for me as I mentioned in that post. I feel like that day I really started to "do life". I've struggled with my weight all my life and now I am working towards getting healthier. I've been losing weight since September 2010 and have been successful at it so far. I still have a lot more weight to lose. Ever since the Do Life event, I've made getting healthy my priority. I wanted something to remind me of how I felt during & after participating in the 5k. Something to remind me that I am worth it and to keep on going.

I found it.

Gotta concentrate on the present

2011-08-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

I worked hard this week and it showed on the scale. I lost 4.2 pounds bringing a total of 62.2. I am so happy with this week's weight loss. As I was putting in my new weight on my WW app, I noticed that in May, I had reached a 62 pound loss. I started to feel a bit depressed about the fact that since May, my weight has gone up and down and it took almost 3 months to get back to where I was in May. It's disappointing for sure but I know why that happened.

During the past four months my life has changed dramatically and I know that there were times when I let myself feel sorry or defeated. I would pick myself back up but the damage was done. It wasn't until the Do Life event that it finally sunk in that I needed to just "do life" and not get depressed about the circumstances.

Today, I feel so much better about my workouts and weight loss. I feel stronger and with more energy. Being healthy is my #1 priority right now and I am doing it. I had set a goal of reaching 70 pounds by the end of August.* I don't think that's going to happen. However, my one year anniversary with Weight Watchers is at the end of September and I'm making it my mission to lose 75 pounds by September 20, 2011.

Can't nobody take my pride

Can't nobody hold me down

I gotta keep on movin'

*I will be donating the money I would've spent on a shirt directly to TWLOHA

More than half way done

2011-08-21T22:50:00.001-07:00

It's 10:50 pm on Sunday night & I just finished my last workout for the week. Week 3 is done. Whew! As I posted last Sunday, my goal was to work out 7 times this week. Even on the 2 rest days allowed by the 5k plan, I decided that I would at least do 30 minutes of cardio on rest days. But I missed on day because I was mentally & physically tired. Not from working out but from some personal things that are going on. I don't feel guilty for skipping that day. I kicked ass the other 6 days of the week.

Schedule for week 4:

Day 1 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)

Day 2 - rest day. I am making the decision to actually rest on Tuesday.

Day 3 - walk 40 continuous minutes

Day 3 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)

Day 4 - walk 2.5 miles

Day 5 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)

Day 6 - rest day but I will be doing at least 30 minutes of cardio

Day 7 - walk 2.75 miles

At the end of the 5 week plan, I am going to go back to Golden Gate Park and walk the route that we took during the Do Like 5k. My goal is to improve my time. If I can continue to walk like I did today, I think I just might do it.

Adele

2011-08-17T13:35:00.000-07:00

I had the opportunity to see her in concert on Sunday at the Greek Theater in Berkeley. She was incredible. I don't have the words to describe how talented she is. I've been a fan of hers since her first album but grew to like her even more with her sophomore album. If you get an opportunity to see her live, you must do it.

Between songs, she would talk to to the audience and tell us the inspiration of the song. Even though it was a crowd of 8,500 people, it still felt like an intimate setting. I only wished they had a screen behind her as our seats were pretty far back.

She performed a couple of covers and dedicated one of the songs to Amy Winehouse. After almost singing for an hour an a half, she closed the show with Someone Like You (my favorite song) and Rolling in the Deep.

The beginning of Someone Like You

One of the coolest concert moments I've ever been a part of

My next concert is next week. I get to see 311 & Sublime. I am even more excited because I get to go with my friend who I haven't seen in over 3 years. Yay!

Trying out new skincare products

2011-08-16T16:59:00.000-07:00

I hauled from Sephora. To be honest, it was the VIB hatbox with deluxe samples that enabled this haul.

After almost 7 months of weekly use, I finally ran out of my my Kate Somerville Exfolikate Intensive Exfoliating Treatment. This product, along with my Clairsonic Mia, has done wonders for my skin. It might seem a bit pricey at $19 for 1/2 an ounce but you only need a small amount.

I also wanted to get some sun screen and decided to try out Shiseido's Ultimate Sun Protection Cream for Face SPF 55. My current moisturizer does not have SPF but muy foundation does. Since I don't wear make-up during my workouts, I knew I needed some sun protection. So far I like it. Haven't broken out with it and it does not leave a residue.

I've mentioned that the condition of my skin has gotten better with my Clairsonic Mia and the exfoliator I've been using. No doubt that my eating habits have also helped. But I have two dark spots on my cheeks which are easily covered by make-up. However, I would like for them to not be there. I don't know if they are sun spots or have to do with my PCOS. But I decided to try the Murad Age Spot & Pigment Lightening Gel to see how it works. I've been putting it on after I was my face at night ever since I got my products on Thursday. At $60 for the bottle, I really hope it works. In the reviews I've read, it takes approximately three weeks of daily use to notice a difference. If I don't see an improvement, I will be taking it back and trying out a new product.

Have you tried any new skincare products?

A week of lessons

2011-08-15T16:05:00.000-07:00

I lost 3 pounds this week. Yay! That means my working out 5 times this week and eating right paid off. After such a disappointing weigh in last week, I sure needed to be on the losing side of the scale. I learned a few things during this week and some which I mentioned in my previous post. I also learned that:

Bread is not my friend. Last week when I gained, I had a wheat muffin every day for breakfast. I was still within my points so it shouldn't matter right? This week, I only had two pieces of bread on Saturday and I lost. I ate about the same as I did last week with the exception that this week I probably had more alcohol. From now on, I will try to avoid bread as much as possible. Boo!

If I plan on walking like Speedy Gonzalez, I need to breathe in through my nose not my mouth. Inhaling a fly while walking is not a good idea as you have to stop walking and spaz out. No one wants to see a red faced, sweaty woman dry heaving on the street.

I have no excuse to not work out. This past week was a busy one but I managed to get in my 5 days even while hungover. This week my goal is to work out 7 days and I will meet this goal.

I am very happy with this week's weigh in and also with my commitment to working out. My goal for this week is simply to stay on track with food & fitness.

Another one bites the dust

2011-08-14T11:14:00.000-07:00

Completed week 2 of the 5k Your Way plan. I was actually supposed to have finished yesterday but I stayed up until 4am from Friday into Saturday and I knew that I wouldn't get up early enough to go walk. I think that this week I worked out more than ever. As I mentioned in my previous post, getting healthy is my #1 priority right now and I feel like I did my best this week.

Lessons learned for the week:

As much as I like that it's starting to resemble summer here in the Bay Area, the heat sucks when trying to get your workout on outside. I am not a fan so that means I have to get up earlier for cooler temps.
Fuel up! Having a small snack such as an apple with peanut butter or half of an energy bar goes a long way in giving me the fuel I need to work out.
Find different places to walk. Going around in circles around my neighborhood has me feeling like a hamster.
Even if you are a bit hungover from too much sangria, go work out. You will feel better afterwards. At least you will sweat out the alcohol from your body.

Schedule for week 3:

Day 1 - walk for 3o continuous minutes.

Day 2 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)

Day 3 - walk 2 miles

Day 4 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)

Day 5 - walk 2.25 miles

Day 6 & 7 - rest days but I will be doing at least 30 minutes of cardio each day.

Selfish

2011-08-10T23:32:00.000-07:00

Selfish -
concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself :seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others;
arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in disregard of others; source

Why is being selfish seen as such a negative characteristic to have? In looking at the definition, I can see that "without regard for others" is seen in a negative way. But if it means putting ourselves second or in last place, should't be we selfish for our own good? Why do we have to put others well-being before our own? Maybe not everyone does that but I do and it's time I stop. I need to be selfish of my time, needs & wants to be able to succeed in different aspects of my life.

Mary from A Small Loss has mentioned this subject in several of her posts. I really liked this quote she posted from Stainer:

Get hungry for the things that are truly important to you. Think of the people you respect and love, the moments you relish, the impact you want to have, the legacy you want to leave. Bottom line: don't waste your time on anything else.

I've wasted too much time being the way I am. I've wasted too much time being sedentary & letting time pass me by. Too much time being cruel to my body and my mind. I need to be hungry (not for food) but for life. I need to give life 110% of me. Because if I truly want to change my life for the better, only I can do it.

I've been unemployed for over 4 months right now and it's really hard to not get discouraged. To be unemployed in this type of economy is pretty crappy but I know that I am not the only one. Instead of getting depressed about it, I've really tried to remain positive and I have been concentrating on my weight loss and healthy living. I can't control the job environment but I can control when I work out and what I eat.

What's the point to all of this late night rambling? I decided that I am going to be selfish when it comes to my weight loss. I am going to be putting my self first because I am my priority right now. I can't let distractions or insecurities steer me from my goal to be healthy. During this time that I am unemployed, I am going to make my weight loss journey my job. Why work out only 45 minutes when I have so much spare time right now? A lot of my time I spend job searching and online. But I can do more and I plan to starting tomorrow. I will be continuing with the 5K Your Way plan but adding more workouts. And food wise, I am going to start venturing out more and experimenting in the kitchen. I am coming up on my one year anniversary with Weight Watchers and I want to be able to look back & really see a difference in myself. I can't make up for the last 11 months or the past 30 years but I can do my best starting right now.

Call me selfish if you want. I am ok with that.

I'm not giving up + before and during picture

2011-08-08T22:50:00.000-07:00

If you follow my Tumblr, you would've seen that I posted that I gained 4.2 pounds this past week. I was really frustrated because I worked out 5 times and I ate fairly well all week. Yesterday I did go to an oyster farm & indulged a bit with some bread and cheese. But not enough to gain that much.

I was so mad at myself this morning. I know that losing weight isn't something that will be easy but damn it, I worked hard this week. When I saw those numbers I was really disappointed. So what did I do?

Did I binge? No.

Did I work out? No.

Did I go back to bed & sleep for most of the day? Yes.

Like a child, I went back to bed pouting and mad. I let myself wallow in this small set back knowing that most of the gain was probably water retention. And heck, maybe I am building up some muscle? I probably had like 9 oysters yesterday and I know that those salty mother effers don't pack that much salt. I also had a wheat muffin every day. Even though they are only 100 calories (3 PP+) I think it could've been too much bread for my body to handle.

I know that in the past I have mentioned that for some reason when I eat bread (I had Subway every day for lunch one week) I did not lose. This week I will remain bread free and will continue on track. I am not giving up. I have to remind myself that this happens and move on.

But it's easier said than done. However, I saw a picture of myself from September of last year and I compared it to one that I took on Sunday. I realized that the hard work and frustrations are worth it. I am not going to give up. I felt so good all week after working out and eating right. Tomorrow I am lacing up my sneakers and this chick will be working out.

I am worth it.

5k Your Way - Week 2

2011-08-07T20:12:00.000-07:00

I completed week one & it was a success. I feel a bit lighter on my feet and now that my foot isn't as sore, I can really push myself this week. I've been using my Runkeeper app to track my walks and the audio cues really help in pushing me along. Since I am not working right now, I've been typically staying up late and getting up ever later in the mornings. But since I don't like walking/working out in the heat, I am making an effort to go to sleep early which will in turn help me get up early when the temperature is cooler.

This week I also plan on working out 5 days. I really liked how I felt this past week and I hope I can keep the momentum going. My schedule for the week will be:

Day 1 - walk for 25 minutes continuously

Day 2 - rest/cross training (will commit to 45 minutes of cardio)

Day 3 - walk 1.75 miles

Day 4 - rest/cross training (will commit to 45 minutes of cardio)

Day 5 - walk 2 miles

As I did last week, for the cross training days I will be doing the Walk Away the Pounds DVDs.

Since I am trying to work on my speed and endurance, I will only be walking the steep hill near my house once a week rather than every time. I find that it makes me slow down even though the more I walk it, the easier it gets. But since I am trying to beat my 5k time which didn't include a steep hill, I feel as though I am putting myself at a disadvantage. Or am I avoiding that hill? Things that make you go hhmm...

One week down, four to go

2011-08-06T21:45:00.000-07:00

Today I completed the first week of the 5k Your Way plan. That means I worked out 5 times this week. FIVE TIMES! And I survived! I feel very motivated and I hope my workouts reflect in my weigh in on Monday.

I've been actively posting to my Tumblr ever since I participated in the Do Life 5k. There is a great weight loss/healthy living community and that's the type of motivation I need. I've been posting shorter snippets daily and I am using it to document my progress with this 5k plan.

I also decided set a reward for myself for the end of August. Ben from BenDoesLife will be donating 15% of all the proceeds in August to a great organization. I decided that if I can reach a 70 pound loss by the end of August, I will get a shirt & sticker which will in turn help out To Write Love On Her Arms. That means I have to lose 10.8 pounds. Can I do it? I hope so! If I don't reach my goal, I will donate the money that I would've spent on the Do Life merchandise directly to TWLOHA. If you want to get some gear and help out a great organization, click here for more info.

Weekly weigh in - Week 46

2011-08-01T12:48:00.000-07:00

I mentioned my janky scale the other day and I ended up going to WW last week to confirm my weight loss with them. Last week I didn't lose 4.1 pounds like I thought I did. In fact, I only lost 1.8. But that's ok. I ended up returning the scale and got a new one & checked to make sure that the scale matched the one at WW. This morning I weighed in and lost 2.8 pounds. Yay!

Food wise I feel as I did really well. I haven't been drinking as much lately as I would rather eat my calories than drink them. But I had two glasses on wine on Friday night and the rest of the time it was water all the way. In fact, I've upped my water intake this week and I feel great.

Fitness plan for this week was dismal but I plan on fixing that with the 5k Your Way plan. Today was the first day and I walked for 15 minutes at a brisk pace. My plan was to walk more but I hurt my right toe during the weekend. I wish I could tell you that busted it by working out or rescuing a kitten from a tree, but in reality, I banged it against a sidewalk when I was walking with flip flops. So while I wasn't Speedy Gonzalez in during my walk, I made up for it by walking up a steep hill near my house.

A while back, I would've not walked because of my "injury". I would've used any excuse not to workout. But I made myself walk and even though it hurt at the beginning and it was throbbing at the end of the walk, I was proud that I had made it.

My in-house doctor (my mom) suggested I take some arnica pills for the bruising. It doesn't hurt as bad as it did on Saturday. I guess I really do need some walking lessons.

5k Your Way - Week One

2011-07-31T17:45:00.000-07:00

I've decided to post each week's schedule to hold myself accountable. At the end of each week, I will post how I did and next week's plan.

For this week, I have 3 walk days, 3 rest/cross training days & 1 day of rest. I am going to aim high and plan for 3 walk days, 2 cross training days & 2 rest days.

The reason I am being ambitious is that I can easily walk a mile and a half so to build up some momentum I can try to work out 5 days this week. For the cross training days, I will probably do 45 of cardio whether it be Walk Away the Pounds or a Richard Simmons DVD.

The time to beat in 5 weeks will be 57:50.5 which was my time at the Do Life 5k. I remember the route we took so perhaps I will walk that same route at the end of the 5 weeks to see how I've improved.

I hope I know what I am doing.

Oh motivation, where did you go?

2011-07-29T16:37:00.000-07:00

I am looking for the motivation I had after participating in my first 5k. I was so pumped after it and then this week my workouts have been dismal. You would think with my weight loss and the 4 workouts from last week I would continue with the same path. But I haven't. Food wise I've been doing well and I hope the scale agrees with me on Monday.

I've been having a hard time getting motivated to work out. I think I realized why that is. I worked out hard last week because I had a goal short term goal - to complete the 5k. But now I don't have any short term goals. But that is changing starting Monday.

My goal for the next 5 weeks will be to follow the 5k Your Way training plan from Sparkpeople. I want to be able to improve my walking pace and hopefully one day soon maybe even jog. I have to start somewhere I am going to follow this plan for the next 5 weeks. My goal at the end of the 5 weeks will be to improve my time by at least 2 minutes per mile. I also want to increase my speed because at the end of September I will be going to a Breakfast Summit in SF and there will be walking involved. I don't want to be the one that the group is waiting for.

Wish me luck!

Dear body... I am sorry

2011-07-28T14:49:00.000-07:00

I just came back from lunch and I was discussing my scale with my friend. I was bitching about how it was janky and giving me different numbers. I was mentioning how hard I've been working the past few weeks to lose the weight I gained in LA. Then this popped up on my Tumblr via fitvillians:

“Have you told your body how much you love it today?

Your body is responsible for everything you do. It keeps you alive, takes you to the store, gives you orgasms, allows you to dance, laugh & play. Every single thing you love to do in this world is made possible because of that body of yours. It works non-stop, doing your bidding.

And you hate it because it doesn’t look the way YOU think it should look?

You’re not just stuck in your body. It’s stuck with you too. And in terms of who’s treating who better, maybe it’s time to ask yourself how much love your bringing to the table in this relationship. Cause your body is doing nothing but loving you hard, 24/7.

Happiness doesn’t discriminate based on appearance. Neither does love. Don’t discriminate against your body. Love it for every single thing it does.”

Instead of bitching about my scale, I should be apologizing to my body for mistreating it for the past 20+ years. My scale may not be working well or it could very well be working perfectly. But I am the one that is at fault for being this way. I am the one who has abused and neglected my body. Any aches and pains I may have are my fault. My body allows me to do so much and until recently, I did so little for it.

That stops now.

I am sorry for mistreating you. I can't promise that I won't hurt you again but I will try my hardest not too. We are in this together.

I Did Life

2011-07-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a day that I won't soon forget. I participated in my first 5k race. It wasn't a timed event but the point was to be active. I was last but I felt really proud of myself for finishing it. I also wasn't that far behind which did wonders for my self esteem. I was so close to not going. I was in my car and I sat there for a minute debating whether or not to go. But I am so glad that I did. I got to meet Ben from Ben Does Life, his dad (Pa) and other folks who follow Ben's tumblr. Sunday was a day of firsts for me:

Participating in a group activity that revolved exercise
My first 5k event
Going to a meet up by myself and not knowing anyone

On your mark...

There were about 60 people in attendance and everyone was so nice. As soon as I met the group, Ben introduced himself to me and asked me a bit about myself. We got to mingle with the other participants and at around 10:45 we started to run or walk in my case. I had set a goal for myself to finish in under an hour. My Nike+ & Runkeeper app have told me in past walks that my pace was on average 22 minutes per mile. I decided that I was really going to push myself and try to shave off time for this walk. I ended up completing the 5k (3.1 miles) in 57:50:20 minutes which is about 18 minutes per mile. Holy crap! I was so happy! Towards the latter part of the walk, I didn't think I would make it under an hour. There was a part that was uphill and I was already getting really tired. I didn't stop at all and just kept on walking even if my pace started to slow down. I walked by this lake that had a really nice waterfall. I didn't want to stop. In fact, I wanted to jump in since I was so hot. After meeting up with the group, we took some pictures with Ben and I bought a race shirt. I got in a size smaller than I am right now to motivate me to keep on moving. About half of us stayed and we had lunch together. I was glad that I stayed because I got to meet some folks who are very active and it was neat to hear about their races.

With Ben after I completed the 5K.

I felt so accomplished yesterday and really proud of myself because I was out of my comfort zone & I succeeded. Now I am looking to see if there are any more 5k's coming up to participate in. I may not be the fastest walker but even if in my next event I improve by a minute I will be really happy. With the 5k done, I completed my fitness goal of this week to work out 4 times this past week. My goal for this week will be to work out 4 times again. I feel so motivated!

I want to thank all of you who encouraged me to go to this event. I'm beyond ecstatic that I did and if Ben comes around next year with the Do Life Movement, I will definitely be there! And hopefully there will be less of me a year from now.

Oh yeah, and I also lost 4.1 pounds this week.

Group shot via Do Life Movement

Let's give them something to talk about

2011-07-20T21:53:00.000-07:00

I found out that some people in my family in Mexico know that I've lost weight. My mom mentioned to me that one of my aunt's mentioned to her that my weight loss was a topic of conversation among my family. She said that they were very proud of me. Recently a family member gave me a gift to congratulate me on my weight loss and to encourage me to keep going.

I have mixed feeling about these situations. I am happy that they support me. But I don't really talk to my family about my weight issues and I know that I've only talked to a handful of my family members about it. I don't really share this part of myself so openly because I don't want to feel pressured that comes with more people knowing. I put enough pressure myself. Then I wonder what if the next time I see them they don't notice a difference. Will they start judging what I eat and do? I hold myself accountable by using this blog to document my journey but it feels much bigger now that more of my family members know. I think I just have to figure out a good way to deal with the expectations that others may have of me and not let it impact me in a negative way.

Right now that I am living at my mom's, she makes dinner for herself, my cousin (who is living with us for 2 months while going to school, my sister and I. While I enjoy her cooking, it tends to be on something that would use up a lot of my points so I've been making my own dinners instead. It's like it's finally clicked that I have to make myself a priority.

I have been binge free for over a week and I am really proud of myself. All it takes is a bit of planning and I can be successful with this journey. I am continuing to branch out and trying different foods. I made a veggie and bean salad on Monday and it was delicious. It's a very simple recipe and so yummy. I'm already halfway done with my fitness goal for the week and getting ramped up for the 5K on Sunday.

Learning to sparkle

2011-07-18T15:41:00.000-07:00

This week I lost 1.3 pounds. I actually weighed in on Friday and would've had a bigger loss to post but I went to a BBQ on Saturday and had dinner at Cattlemen's last night so I think I may be retaining some alcohol and baby back ribs. hahaha! I am happy with my loss because I know that for most of last week I ate really well. I even tried a new recipe that my friend Karen posted on her blog. I made some Panzanella and it was so good. And each serving is 6 PointsPlus. One of the things that I've discovered with WW is that I need to have some variety in my food because otherwise I get bored and my bad habits come back. I made this salad 3 times this week and it was so good.

Thank you all for your feedback on this post. I appreciate your feedback so much. I posted on the Do Life Facebook page & I made the decision participate on the event this coming Sunday. I am excited & nervous but I will do it even if I am last.

I completed my fitness goal for last week and worked out 3 times. Don't laugh but I did the Richard Simmon's DVD which is basically 50 minutes of cardio. Let me tell you, Richard Simmons is no joke. I was sweating at the end of each session and muscles I didn't know I had were hurting. Oh man but it's the good kind of hurt. He also taught me how to sparkle! If you've ever done his workout DVD's you'll know what I mean. This week my goal is to work out 4 times and that will include the 5K on Sunday. I've already worked out this morning so I only have 3 more to go. Wheee!

My food goal for last week was to drink more water and I certainly upped it. I had two "bad" meals but overall I did really good. For this week, my goal will be to drink more water and to try a new recipe.

IMATS & LA trip

2011-07-15T10:43:00.000-07:00

It seems like my LA trip was so long ago but I wanted to share my IMATS haul and pictures of my adventures in LA. In one word IMATS was overwhelming. I am so glad that I decided to be proactive and make a list of all the things I wanted to check out. Otherwise I would have spent my money on the first couple of booths and missed out on some great items. I ended up getting everything on my list with the exception of Inglot products. Even though we got there really early on Saturday, the line was pretty long and by the time I got to the Inglot booth, the line was a massive mess. I decided to skip out on it since I only wanted to check out the eye shadows & blushes and really, how many more of those do I need? Talk about self control.

I got a chance to meet Stef from We Heart This. We've been email pals for the past couple of months and I was so glad that we got a chance to meet IRL. We only talked briefly as there was too much going on.
After walking around for a couple of hours, I ended up purchasing the following items. To me it seems like a small haul but I was on a budget and stuck to it.

CoverFx 160 foundation brush (which I've used & it rocks) and several Crown Brushes. Their two sided concealer brush has changed the way I apply concealer.
BeautyBlender package which includes two sponges and a cleanser. I used it and I like the coverage I get with it. Lately I've been going back & forth with the CoverFx foundation brush and the BeautyBlender. I also got Embryolisse's Lait- Creme Concentrate which I use as a primer. Love it!
Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics is why I really wanted to go to IMATS. I've heard so many reviews about this line and I really wanted to try the lip tars. For the lip tars I got Memento, Pageant, NSFW, Trollop, Demure & Grandma. For the nail polishes I got Tattoo, Echo, Something and Dangerous.

I am not one who normally wears bright lip colors but I decided to branch out since I really liked the swatches I saw online. I've tried Demure, NSFW & Trollop and I really like them. Even though it was overwhelming, I still had a lot of fun at IMATS. I wish we would've have watched some of the seminars but we got worn out so fast. My nieces and I are now wanting to go to IMATS in New York next year.

The rest of the time we spent it in the Grove, Santa Monica and Beverly Hills. I had a great time with my nieces and got to spend some quality time with them.

View of the beach from the Santa Monica ferris wheel

In memory of the soldiers lost since the war started in 2001

Had to get my Pinkberry on

My nieces & I are fans of the Hills and decided to stop by one of the restaurants featured on the show. I had the Spencer Steak Tacos and they were damn tasty

The Grove in LA

Red velvet cupcakes at Magnolia's Bakery in Beverly Hills. Damn good!

The gates to the Playboy mansion

As close as we could get to the Hollywood sign

Enjoying life in Santa Monica

Time to be brave

2011-07-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

I've spent the past couple of hours catching up on some blog reading. You think that being unemployed I would have the time but for some reason I haven't been keeping up. I have especially been reading the past entries that Mary from a small loss has posted in the past couple of weeks. She has lost over 140 pounds the healthy way and is a constant source of inspiration to me. Thank you Mary.

I've been giving it a lot of thought as to why I have been struggling with my weight loss lately. I am typing this after binging on two bags of M&M's. While they were tasty at the time, I regret eating them. Why is it that I am allowing myself to take one step forward and two steps back? I know that I feel good when I eat right and exercise. And even if it sounds a bit vain, I like it when people comment on my weight loss. I like that I can actually walk 5k and not be winded. Before I got serious with WW back in September, there were times when even walking a few short blocks would make my back ache and I would have to sit to relieve the pressure on my back. I am even embarrassed to admit that. Because really, how did I let myself get to weigh this much in the first place? I consider myself a smart woman but I've made some really stupid decisions about myself in the past especially with my health.

I often wonder if I am punishing myself for something. I mean, only someone who would treat their body this way would have to have a reason for doing so, right? What is my reason? Why don't I help myself and be healthy so that the hang-ups that I have would fall right off right along with my weight? Damn it I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be able to walk into a restaurant and not wonder if the booth I am going to be sitting in will be uncomfortable or if someone is looking at me wondering why I am so overweight. This may seem silly but one of the reasons why I don't like being late to places is because I don't want everyone to watch me walk in. I am afraid that they are thinking "whoa she is big" or " what happened to her?". I have this false sense of security if I am there before everyone because I feel like I will blend in. How can someone so big not stand out? This is the sort of internal dialogue that I have going through my mind quite often.

One of my struggles right now is that I want to do the Do Life run. It would be more like the Do Life walk in my case. But I am afraid of going. I am afraid that I will be the biggest person there and the last one finishing. I am afraid that I won't finish even though I no longer get winded on 5ks. I am afraid that no one will talk to me. I still have a couple of days to decide what I want to do and I hope that I am able to take this negativity and push it aside as I really want to participate in this event. I was reading a book on my Kindle and part of the story dealt with the Special Olympics. In the book they mention the organization's motto which has stuck with me.

Let me win. But if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.

Tomorrow is a new day and I hope that a week from now I am able to say that I haven't binged in over a week. Brave is what I need to be.

Getting back on track

2011-07-11T15:24:00.000-07:00

I lost 3.6 pounds this week. Whee! I'm excited that I am getting back on track. I've come a long way to stop where I am especially since I am not even close to my long term goal. But I am getting there and that is what counts. I worked out twice this week and after each workout, I felt so good. It's like my body welcomed the endorphins and it felt happy. I need to remember that feeling so I can keep myself motivated.

Some pictures taken during my walks - Blackie's Pastures in Tiburon & the Golden Gate Bridge. By the way, I had forgotten how much I liked the Hipstamatic photo app.

My fitness goal for this week is to work out 3 times this week. Whether it is a minimum of a 3 mile walk or 45 minutes of cardio, I will do it. It amazes me that I am even doing 3 mile walks. Back when I first started on WW, I could barely do a mile and I was puffing and looking like a hot mess.

My food goal for this week is to keep on trackin' and also to drink more water. I have been drinking too many diet sodas and not enough water.

Things I'm Loving

2011-07-06T17:17:00.000-07:00

While I was in LA, I visited Wasteland in Santa Monica. For those of you not familiar with this store, it's a second hand store that usually carries designer items at a fraction of the price. You can find some great items you just have to look through them. This weekend I was walking around the Haight in SF and saw that there was a Wasteland location. I decided to walk in and found the most amazing Chloe purse. As soon as I saw it, I asked the sales associate if I could take a closer look and it was love at first sight. The price tag for the bag was $150. However, I wasn't sure what kind of deal I would be getting since I am not too familiar with the Chloe price point. I walked around the store some more but I kept thinking of the purse and I decided to get it. Eekk!

As soon as I got home I started Googling Chloe bags to make sure that I didn't get a fake and also to find the original price of the bag. After much searching, I found it on Purseblog entry. According to the site, the bag (back in 2006) was $1,585. The bag I bought is missing the brass padlock but I think I got an awesome deal. I also saw these really cute Marc Jacob flats but I felt like Cinderella's stepsister as they were too tight on me.

Another thing that I am loving right now is the Mossimo "Boyfriend" tees from Target. Now that it is summer it's pretty hot here in Marin. Right now it's been in the high 80's/low 90's. I had seen some ladies on Twitter talk about these tees and ended up ordering a few in a variety of colors. Oh My God! So comfy and perfect for this type of weather. I ended up ordering some more since they are only $10.

And lastly, I bought a cardigan which I think it's the first time I've ever bought one. I won't be wearing it for a while unless I go to SF where the temperature is a bit coolor but I saw it on Clique To Know and I knew it would be mine. Clique To Know is a member-only site a la Ideeli, HauteLook & Gilt but they cater to plus size ladies. The cardigan IGIGI By Yuliya Raquel Ronda Cardigan which is originally $72& I bought it for $30.

IMATS haul & LA visit post will be next :)

If I could turn back time...

2011-07-04T12:46:00.000-07:00

I wouldn't have a 9.1 pound gain for the past two weeks. That's what happens when you completely ignore the plan you've been on and don't exercise. I am so mad at myself because I have gained part of what took too long to lose. But now I have nowhere to go but up ...err or in this case down. It's back to tracking EVERYTHING I eat and drink. Just because I am out of town or have family visiting or it's Tuesday, I cannot let myself get off track. It isn't worth it. I don't like how I feel. I have more thoughts on this but I need to get off the computer and get ready for the BBQ my mom is hosting at the house.

Anyways, I leave you with a song that's been in my head all day. And no, I won't be having any apple pie on this Independence Day. Happy 4th of July!

My life is like a bad country song

2011-07-01T14:47:00.001-07:00

I ain't got no job

I ain't got no car

I ain't got no man

I ain't got no home

And if I had a dog,

it would probably run away.

That's pretty much how my life is right now. Yesterday I returned my car which thankfully the lease was up this month. Having an almost $300 car payment when unemployed is an expense that you really don't want or need. I moved back to my mom's house and so far things are going ok. I could sit here and bitch about my life but things could be worse. Now that I am back from LA and am settled to at my mom's, it's time to get serious about job searching and also getting back on track on Weight Watchers. I've sort of let the circumstances take over and haven't been tracking my food for the past couple of days. I made the decision that when I was in LA I wouldn't be too strict with my diet but I haven't gotten back on track.

My friend, her husband & I are going to be doing another weight loss challenge from July 1st through December 1st. It's the motivation I need to get back on track. I haven't even weighed myself to see how much I've gained but I will on Monday as that is my official weigh in day. But I feel heavier and like I have no energy. It's a feeling that I don't like.

I'll be posting about my LA trip in the next couple of days which will include my IMATS haul.