Weigh in day & Fitbloggin' in the Bay

5.8 pounds.  Yup, that's how much I lost this past week.  I had a fairly good idea of what my weigh in would be today as I got on the scale on Friday just to see how I was doing.   I can't say that I tracked or exercised much this week.  I think this loss was due to stress which isn't a good thing but I will definitely take it.  I have finally lost what I gained when I went on vacation and a bit more.  I am just one pound from reaching a 75 pound loss. I am going to concentrate on that pound this week.

On Saturday morning I met up with 5 other Bay Area bloggers for a Fitbloggin' meetup hosted by Tracey from TJ's Test Kitchen.  It's really nice to meet up with people who strive to be healthy and have the same goals in mind.  When we got there, I tried one of Danica's mini cranberry lemon muffins. Oh so good! Check out her site this week for the recipe.  We started out our meetup by going on an hour walk and then went back to Tracey's house for our potluck pizza party.  We all brought a variety of toppings to create one of a kind pizzas and salads.

Not to pat myself on the back but my pizza came out delish!  It was half artichoke olive tapenade as the base, olives, zucchini, mozzarella cheese & caramelized onions. Other half is pizza sauce, turkey pepperoni, pineapple, cheese & sun dried tomatoes on wheat pizza dough.  So yummy!  I also had a small salad, fruit & a yummy diet soda cupcake.  It was so good that I didn't even have time to take a picture of it.  I will share some pictures that Danica from Danica's Daily took of that day.

Danica of Danica's Daily

Deb of Weight for Deb

Melissa of A Journey To Marvelous

Our awesome host Tracey of TJ's Test Kitchen

Anneleis of Le Vie En Route

I had a great day meeting up with these ladies and look forward to the next meetup!

Oh yes wait a minute Mr Postman

I've never been so happy to see the postman show up at my house.  Usually I get giddy because I am waiting for a package from Sephora but not this time.   Two great things (although for varying reasons) were delivered today.

1 - I got a letter telling me that I was approved for a federal extension for unemployment benefits.  I've been stressing out about it for the past two weeks.  While it isn't as much as I was making while employed, it definitely helps me in paying some of the large bills I have which are mainly my student loans.  I started applying for lower paying jobs which I am overqualified for and I may have to tweak my resume so that it doesn't show that I have as much experience as I do.   Stressing about money sucks but at least now I don't have to stress so much.

2 - In September I had set a goal that I would get another Do Life shirt if I reached a 75 pound loss.  I ordered it a while back anticipating losing that weight by mid October but I've had a few setbacks.   But I got it today and this morning when I got on the scale, I think I may be reaching my 75 pound weight loss on my official weigh in on Monday.   Perfect timing!   The first shirt I ordered was a 2XL and this time I ordered an XL in Violet although it looks blue in the picture.  I tried it on and it fits. Yes, it's a bit tight but I will be able to wear it soon.  This definitely motivates me to be extra good this weekend.

Speaking of this weekend, I am going to another fitbloggin' meetup.  A couple of the bloggers I met at the Breakfast Summit back in September are meeting up to go on a trail walk by the Napa River trail & also a potluck.  I'm really looking forward to it.  It's going to be a pizza potluck & we are all going to bring different toppings.  Should be fun!

Canadian goodies

Yay for Canadian friends!   One of the great things about the beauty community is that you get to meet such cool people.  Arianne from the Glitter Geek is one of them.  She's a Canadian blogger who writes product reviews and enables me to buy more make up.  She ended up doing a custom purchase for me   & I got the goodies yesterday.  I cannot wait to try them.  She even included some extra goodies to my package.

Marcelle Essentials Purity Soothing Cleansing Water (review)
Annabelle Le Big Show mascara in Black (review)
Annabelle Smoothie Eyeshadow Pencil in Acaidasiac (review)

Arianne included Marcelle Lux Eye Dust is Go Violet & Marcelle Waterproof Eyeliner in Electric Blue.  Both of these colors are so me.

I am so excited to try these goodies but especially the mascara.  If you look at Arianne's review, her lashes look amazing.  Thanks again Arianne!

Monday weigh in & dealing with rejection

My goals for the past week were to avoid diet soft drinks & alcohol, track all my food & work out 4 times this week.  I achieved 1/2 of these goals.  I did manage to avoid diet sodas & alcohol and I did work out 3 times this past week.  Tracking I did horribly with & I know why.  Who wants to track their binges?  No wonder I gained 1.6 pounds this week.   I think my goals for this week will remain the same.  


Even though I let go on my job frustrations at the gym on Wednesday, it's been weighing me down all week.  The uncertainty is making me worry & stress.   I have had this knot in my stomach for the past couple of days & I keep asking myself when I will get a job.   It's all I can think about & I am becoming obsessed over it.  What do I do?  I graze.  A lot.  And then I binge.  It doesn't matter what it is.  I just eat.  And I know I am not hungry.  I feel so out of control with my current job situation so I let my food intake get out of control as well.   It doesn't make sense.   I regret it immediately but I can't seem to stop myself.   


I need to learn to deal with the disappointment in a different way.  I need to realize that I am not being the one rejected.  It's just that there is a better candidate out there.  I think the rejection is what is making me feel this way.  It's making me feel like I am not good enough. If I am not good enough, then why continue on this path to getting healthy?  I am obviously not worth it.  Those are the thoughts that have been with me all week.   I know better. I know I am worth it.  But knowing & actually being are two different things.  


I also figured out why my feet were hurting me so bad yesterday.  Ready for a laugh?  I had my clothes ready for yesterday morning and put on my Thorlo socks.  So comfy & when I walk it feels like I am walking on the softest ground.  Guess what genius put on her socks upside-down?  The fluffy & comfy part of the sock was on TOP of my foot not on the bottom.  It's a reminder not to get dressed in the dark while you are still partially asleep.  

Grape Stomp 5k

Today I got up at 5:45am & drove to Livermore to participate in the 8th Annual Grape Stomp Half Marathon/10k/5k race.   My goal was to improve my 5k time from my previous timed race.  I have no idea what my time was.  I didn't use my Runkeeper to track the time because I had no signal but once the race results are posted I will let you see if I beat my time.   I was bummed because even though we pre-registered & selected our shirt sizes there were only medium & small left.  Boo!

It was a rough race.  There were hills (oh f*ck! was what I was thinking when I got there) and the race was part on grass & part unpaved rocky road. The course was shared with the runners coming back from their half marathon & 10k so at times the course was a bit jumbled.   My feet started hurting & feeling numb towards the end of the race.  That's never happened before.   I seriously just wanted to walk to my car & not finish.  But I did finish but I don't think I beat my time.  Oh my god those hills!

After the race we walked around a bit and then had brunch.  Had a kick ass Monte Cristo and I don't even regret it.   Since we were in an area where there area a lot of wineries, we stopped at two different ones to wine taste.  I didn't drink because I felt dehydrated so I just kept chugging on some water.  Afterwards we went to Menchie's and had some froyo.  We don't have Menchie's near my house & I've heard about it on Twitter so I wanted to try it.  It was good but I still think Pinkberry has the best froyo. 

I had mentioned to my mom and her friends that I wanted to do a race per month and we decided to sign up for another one in November.  Who knew it could be so addictive?

Edit: My official time was 57:05. My previous race I came in at 55:46.  I'm pretty happy with that time since it was a rough day.  

How I deal

You can't change your situation, the only thing you can change is how you chose to deal with it.

I read this quote yesterday and I agree with it.  However, this is how I felt this morning.

I feel like crying.  Maybe I should just let myself.  I had a phone interview today with the hiring manager in what seemed to be a great opportunity & the recruiter called me back & told me that I wasn't going to be getting an in person interview.  I keep getting my hopes up at these job opportunities.   I've probably submitted over 100 resumes to different places and probably gotten 5 callbacks if that.  I've never felt so rejected in my life.  It's definitely bruising my already busted ego to not get a callback.  Fuck, rejection sucks!  I don't even want to work out anymore. I just want to go back to bed and sleep.  I feel like a failure right now.

If you follow me on Tumblr, you would have seen that yesterday I posted that today I was going to go to the gym for the first time in 17 years.  I felt really upset this morning & I could've easily dealt with life in a negative way.  Instead, I went to the gym with my mom and worked out for close to 90 minutes.  I left my frustrations & anger on the exercise machines.  I was feeling defeated and while things aren't any different right now, I feel so much better that I did life today rather than stay home and pout.

I went as my mom's guest to see if I wanted to sign up.  I don't want to commit to something and then not go especially since I have to be mindful of my spending.  I started out on the elliptical & I only survived for about 5 minutes.  That thing is a beast!   My legs felt like jello after 5 minutes.  So ridiculous!  But now I have a starting point.  I decided to get on the treadmill next.  I really enjoyed walking on it.  I never thought I would say that.  I walked for about 30 minutes because my legs felt all jittery.  I got on the the stationary bike and worked out for about 20 minutes.   I can't even remember the last time I was on a bike.  Damn that was hard work.  Since I was waiting for my mom, I decided to get back on the treadmill and walked for another 30 minutes.

In total, I worked out for 86 minutes and burned 938 calories.   Not too shabby for what started out as a crappy day.  And yes, I am going to join.

Decisions

We make decisions every day.  Some of them are really important (what do I want to do with my life) and some aren't as important (I think I will my black Chucks today).  But life is based on the decisions you make and that's what shapes your days, weeks, months, etc.

I made the conscious decision to cut loose a bit while in Mexico & it's been hard to make the decision to get back on track.  Let me rephrase that; it's been difficult to get back on track after making the decision to be healthier.   I spent the weekend in the South Bay because Saturday night I went to the Journey & Foreigner concert.

This picture captured some of the decisions I made that night:
1. Drinking a crappy, overpriced bottle of wine out of a plastic guitar container.  Classy!
2. Striking that pose.  Seriously?
3. Go out and have fun with my only concern being enjoying myself.  I did have a blast!

That last decision made me dread getting on the scale this morning.  I for sure thought that the scale would show a gain and I waited as much as I could to get on the scale.  I was surprised that I maintained.   I am not happy about it because I am supposed to be working hard at getting healthy & I haven't been.

I'm making really short term goals in hopes that I can get back to where I was motivation wise a couple of weeks ago so that I can start succeeding in my short term goals.  For this week, my goals are to avoid diet soft drinks & alcohol, track all my food & work out 4 times this week.

Make your next decision a good one.

I've got mail

Dear Marisol,

Lately you’ve been sucking at life. Sounds harsh but girl you know it’s true. You were doing so well but it’s like you stopped caring. Why is that?

You seem to have forgotten how good you feel after you work out. Your food choices lately leave something to be desired.

Remember why you are doing this. Remember that you are worth it. You’ve done so well in the past year that you can’t give up. You can’t go back to where you were a year or even 6 months ago.

You deserve to live the life that you want for yourself.

Love,
Marisol

Here and now

I went. I ate. I had fun.   Do I regret it?  Nope.   But when I came back and got on the scale, I freaked.  That moment is one of the few were I wished I was a victim of Montezuma's Revenge.  But since my official weigh in day wasn't until today I worked hard to get back on track.  I still have a gain (3.6 pounds) but it had been worse a few days ago.

I had been tracking my food every day but while on vacation I stopped.  I could say that it was the fact that I had limited internet access but that's not true.  I felt like if I didn't track it, it was ok to eat it because I wasn't accounting for it. Such a stupid way of thinking.  Trust me, I know that it's lame to think of it that way.  The tracking counter is down to 0 again.  I am 60 days away from getting my Fitbit.

To be honest, I don't feel like I deserve to get this Fitbit.  It would only taunt me in saying "hey you only worked out 400 minutes last month (7 days)" or "hey you're ten days into the new month and you've only worked out 2 days".  Or it could also remind me that I have completely abandoned my second try at the 5k Your Way plan.  I really don't need to track that failure.  My goal for the rest of the month is to log 1,000 minutes of workouts.   That means I have 21 days to get in 880 minutes of exercise.  I can do it.

I can only concentrate on the here & now.  I am not going to let myself feel bad or ashamed that I haven't done my best the past couple of weeks.  It happened & now I gotta do my best again.

My trip as captured by my iPhone

I had a great time on my trip. I spent quality time with my family, got a chance to relax in the sun & try some amazing food.  Here are some pictures from my time in Mexico.  It was a very low key trip & just what I needed.

Flying over Cancun

Taking a walk along the beach 

Love the color of the water

With my niece Raquel

View of Cancun from the balcony of the condo

Getting my work out on with my nieces 

Chicken mole... yum!

Leaving Cancun 

This is what 4 hours of sleep looks like.

Good bye Cancun

Quality time with my nieces

Angel of Independence in Mexico City

Mexico City

Garlic chips

mmm meat

Latin American Tower 

Ready to celebrate Day of the Dead