Will I ever learn?

I had set a goal back on August 6th that if I reached a 70 pound loss by the end of August, I would get another Do Life shirt. I am 4.4 pounds short of my goal. Since I didn't meet my goal, I have donated what I would've spent on the shirt directly to To Write Love On Her Arms.



I spent part of the day today catching up to Project Runway. What a bad idea. I think I sat in front of the TV for three hours and besides watching the show, I was eating and eating and eating and eating. It's not like I was hungry. Because I wasn't. It was just to have something to do. I feel so gross right now. Even though I didn't eat "bad" food, I still shouldn't have done it. Why do I do it? Bleh…

Awesome NSV

Yesterday when I went to work out, I was feeling very motivated. Maybe I still had some endorphins left over from my tattoo. But as I started walking, I felt strong. When I finished & looked at my Runkeeper app to see my stats, I was shocked at my pace. What was it? A little bit of background first...

Back in September 2010 when I first started WW, there were times when my back would hurt from walking even a block. Now that I really think about it, it was a pretty sad way of living. I started out working out doing the 1 mile Walk Away the Pounds DVD. It's 20 minutes of low impact cardio. At first, I couldn't even finish it. As time went by, I was able to complete it without feeling like I was dying. Then I moved on to the 2 mile, then 3 and 4 mile. The 4 mile is basically one hour of cardio.

I started getting bored with the DVDs and since I lived so close to the Golden Gate Bridge, I decided to walk it. Whenever we had family, this was something that I always avoided. I always dropped them off and picked them up on the other side. I remember the first time I walked it it took me close to 30 minutes to walk a mile. It's embarrassing to even say it but it's true. I was so out of breath and my heart felt like it was beating so fast. I was constantly stopping. However, I started to walk more and it started to get easier. I wasn't feeling so out of shape and a mile didn't seem like that long of a distance.

I was looking at some of my Runkeeper history and back in April I was walking a 22 minute mile. So slow but for someone who walked the mile in 30 minutes that's an improvement right?

Well, yesterday my app said that my pace was 17:01 miles per minute. Say what? Again to most this is slow but for me it's a HUGE improvement. I couldn't believe it. At first I thought my app was incorrect. I did pause the app during the walk to take a picture so I thought maybe that had something to do with it.

I went back today to the same location and walked trying to see if I could replicate yesterday's results. My pace was 18 minutes today however I think I would've walked faster if it wasn't for the heat. Where I walk is right next to the water so I had a jacket with me. After my walk today, I looked like a bright red sweaty tomato. I had to stop my brisk walk after 40 minutes because I felt like I was going to pass out. The heat was too much and I got to the point where my mouth was dry and I felt sick.

But that means that my app was right yesterday. In the right conditions, I can walk a 17 minute mile. For me, that's something to celebrate. I decided that I would do the 5k Your Way plan again and try to beat my previous time from the past 5 weeks.

I feel good!

Whoa-oa-oa! I feel good, I knew that I would, now
I feel good, I knew that I would, now...

Weighed in this morning and I lost 3.4 pounds. Yeah! Total so far is 65.6 pounds. Woot woot!

W4D5 completed last night with a 40 minute brisk walk.

Schedule for week 5:
Day 1 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)
Day 2 - walk 40 continuous minutes
Day 3 - rest day but I will be doing at least 30 minutes of cardio
Day 3 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)
Day 4 - walk 2.75 miles
Day 5 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)
Day 6 - walk 5k and see if time has improved from previous 5k
Day 7 - rest day but I will be doing at least 30 minutes of cardio

I can't believe that I am at the end of the last week of the 5k Your Way plan. I need to figure out what I am going to do next. Part me of thinks I should follow the 5k plan again and on the days that I have to walk I should try to beat my previous time. Or I thought of following this 10k walking plan although it is a bit ambitious.

What do you think? Should I work on my speed first or concentrate on endurance?

Inked

I've been wanting a tattoo for a really long time. But since it's something that is permanent, I wanted it to be something that meant a lot to me. I went from wanting a Gemini symbol to a design of the sun & sea (for my name). But there wasn't anything that really got my attention. I then decided that I wanted some sort of phrase on my left wrist. I had a phrase that I saw in a book and liked it. It said "a full life... no regrets". I like the meaning behind it but then I thought it would be too cluttered.

At the end of July, I went to the 5k Do Life event in San Francisco. That day was a a day of firsts for me as I mentioned in that post. I feel like that day I really started to "do life". I've struggled with my weight all my life and now I am working towards getting healthier. I've been losing weight since September 2010 and have been successful at it so far. I still have a lot more weight to lose. Ever since the Do Life event, I've made getting healthy my priority. I wanted something to remind me of how I felt during & after participating in the 5k. Something to remind me that I am worth it and to keep on going.

I found it.

Gotta concentrate on the present

I worked hard this week and it showed on the scale. I lost 4.2 pounds bringing a total of 62.2. I am so happy with this week's weight loss. As I was putting in my new weight on my WW app, I noticed that in May, I had reached a 62 pound loss. I started to feel a bit depressed about the fact that since May, my weight has gone up and down and it took almost 3 months to get back to where I was in May. It's disappointing for sure but I know why that happened.

During the past four months my life has changed dramatically and I know that there were times when I let myself feel sorry or defeated. I would pick myself back up but the damage was done. It wasn't until the Do Life event that it finally sunk in that I needed to just "do life" and not get depressed about the circumstances.

Today, I feel so much better about my workouts and weight loss. I feel stronger and with more energy. Being healthy is my #1 priority right now and I am doing it. I had set a goal of reaching 70 pounds by the end of August.* I don't think that's going to happen. However, my one year anniversary with Weight Watchers is at the end of September and I'm making it my mission to lose 75 pounds by September 20, 2011.

Can't nobody take my pride

Can't nobody hold me down

I gotta keep on movin'

*I will be donating the money I would've spent on a shirt directly to TWLOHA

More than half way done

It's 10:50 pm on Sunday night & I just finished my last workout for the week. Week 3 is done. Whew! As I posted last Sunday, my goal was to work out 7 times this week. Even on the 2 rest days allowed by the 5k plan, I decided that I would at least do 30 minutes of cardio on rest days. But I missed on day because I was mentally & physically tired. Not from working out but from some personal things that are going on. I don't feel guilty for skipping that day. I kicked ass the other 6 days of the week.

Schedule for week 4:

Day 1 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)

Day 2 - rest day. I am making the decision to actually rest on Tuesday.

Day 3 - walk 40 continuous minutes

Day 3 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)

Day 4 - walk 2.5 miles

Day 5 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)

Day 6 - rest day but I will be doing at least 30 minutes of cardio

Day 7 - walk 2.75 miles

At the end of the 5 week plan, I am going to go back to Golden Gate Park and walk the route that we took during the Do Like 5k. My goal is to improve my time. If I can continue to walk like I did today, I think I just might do it.

Adele

I had the opportunity to see her in concert on Sunday at the Greek Theater in Berkeley. She was incredible. I don't have the words to describe how talented she is. I've been a fan of hers since her first album but grew to like her even more with her sophomore album. If you get an opportunity to see her live, you must do it.

Between songs, she would talk to to the audience and tell us the inspiration of the song. Even though it was a crowd of 8,500 people, it still felt like an intimate setting. I only wished they had a screen behind her as our seats were pretty far back.

She performed a couple of covers and dedicated one of the songs to Amy Winehouse. After almost singing for an hour an a half, she closed the show with Someone Like You (my favorite song) and Rolling in the Deep.

The beginning of Someone Like You

One of the coolest concert moments I've ever been a part of

My next concert is next week. I get to see 311 & Sublime. I am even more excited because I get to go with my friend who I haven't seen in over 3 years. Yay!

Trying out new skincare products

I hauled from Sephora. To be honest, it was the VIB hatbox with deluxe samples that enabled this haul.

After almost 7 months of weekly use, I finally ran out of my my Kate Somerville Exfolikate Intensive Exfoliating Treatment. This product, along with my Clairsonic Mia, has done wonders for my skin. It might seem a bit pricey at $19 for 1/2 an ounce but you only need a small amount.

I also wanted to get some sun screen and decided to try out Shiseido's Ultimate Sun Protection Cream for Face SPF 55. My current moisturizer does not have SPF but muy foundation does. Since I don't wear make-up during my workouts, I knew I needed some sun protection. So far I like it. Haven't broken out with it and it does not leave a residue.

I've mentioned that the condition of my skin has gotten better with my Clairsonic Mia and the exfoliator I've been using. No doubt that my eating habits have also helped. But I have two dark spots on my cheeks which are easily covered by make-up. However, I would like for them to not be there. I don't know if they are sun spots or have to do with my PCOS. But I decided to try the Murad Age Spot & Pigment Lightening Gel to see how it works. I've been putting it on after I was my face at night ever since I got my products on Thursday. At $60 for the bottle, I really hope it works. In the reviews I've read, it takes approximately three weeks of daily use to notice a difference. If I don't see an improvement, I will be taking it back and trying out a new product.

Have you tried any new skincare products?

A week of lessons

I lost 3 pounds this week. Yay! That means my working out 5 times this week and eating right paid off. After such a disappointing weigh in last week, I sure needed to be on the losing side of the scale. I learned a few things during this week and some which I mentioned in my previous post. I also learned that:

• Bread is not my friend. Last week when I gained, I had a wheat muffin every day for breakfast. I was still within my points so it shouldn't matter right? This week, I only had two pieces of bread on Saturday and I lost. I ate about the same as I did last week with the exception that this week I probably had more alcohol. From now on, I will try to avoid bread as much as possible. Boo!

• If I plan on walking like Speedy Gonzalez, I need to breathe in through my nose not my mouth. Inhaling a fly while walking is not a good idea as you have to stop walking and spaz out. No one wants to see a red faced, sweaty woman dry heaving on the street.

• I have no excuse to not work out. This past week was a busy one but I managed to get in my 5 days even while hungover. This week my goal is to work out 7 days and I will meet this goal.

I am very happy with this week's weigh in and also with my commitment to working out. My goal for this week is simply to stay on track with food & fitness.

Another one bites the dust

Completed week 2 of the 5k Your Way plan. I was actually supposed to have finished yesterday but I stayed up until 4am from Friday into Saturday and I knew that I wouldn't get up early enough to go walk. I think that this week I worked out more than ever. As I mentioned in my previous post, getting healthy is my #1 priority right now and I feel like I did my best this week.

Lessons learned for the week:

• As much as I like that it's starting to resemble summer here in the Bay Area, the heat sucks when trying to get your workout on outside. I am not a fan so that means I have to get up earlier for cooler temps.
• Fuel up! Having a small snack such as an apple with peanut butter or half of an energy bar goes a long way in giving me the fuel I need to work out.
• Find different places to walk. Going around in circles around my neighborhood has me feeling like a hamster.
• Even if you are a bit hungover from too much sangria, go work out. You will feel better afterwards. At least you will sweat out the alcohol from your body.

Schedule for week 3:

Day 1 - walk for 3o continuous minutes.

Day 2 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)

Day 3 - walk 2 miles

Day 4 - rest/cross training (will commit to an hour of cardio)

Day 5 - walk 2.25 miles

Day 6 & 7 - rest days but I will be doing at least 30 minutes of cardio each day.

Selfish

Selfish -

1. concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself :seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others;
2. arising from concern with one's own welfare or advantage in disregard of others; source

Why is being selfish seen as such a negative characteristic to have? In looking at the definition, I can see that "without regard for others" is seen in a negative way. But if it means putting ourselves second or in last place, should't be we selfish for our own good? Why do we have to put others well-being before our own? Maybe not everyone does that but I do and it's time I stop. I need to be selfish of my time, needs & wants to be able to succeed in different aspects of my life.

Mary from A Small Loss has mentioned this subject in several of her posts. I really liked this quote she posted from Stainer:

Get hungry for the things that are truly important to you. Think of the people you respect and love, the moments you relish, the impact you want to have, the legacy you want to leave. Bottom line: don't waste your time on anything else.

I've wasted too much time being the way I am. I've wasted too much time being sedentary & letting time pass me by. Too much time being cruel to my body and my mind. I need to be hungry (not for food) but for life. I need to give life 110% of me. Because if I truly want to change my life for the better, only I can do it.

I've been unemployed for over 4 months right now and it's really hard to not get discouraged. To be unemployed in this type of economy is pretty crappy but I know that I am not the only one. Instead of getting depressed about it, I've really tried to remain positive and I have been concentrating on my weight loss and healthy living. I can't control the job environment but I can control when I work out and what I eat.

What's the point to all of this late night rambling? I decided that I am going to be selfish when it comes to my weight loss. I am going to be putting my self first because I am my priority right now. I can't let distractions or insecurities steer me from my goal to be healthy. During this time that I am unemployed, I am going to make my weight loss journey my job. Why work out only 45 minutes when I have so much spare time right now? A lot of my time I spend job searching and online. But I can do more and I plan to starting tomorrow. I will be continuing with the 5K Your Way plan but adding more workouts. And food wise, I am going to start venturing out more and experimenting in the kitchen. I am coming up on my one year anniversary with Weight Watchers and I want to be able to look back & really see a difference in myself. I can't make up for the last 11 months or the past 30 years but I can do my best starting right now.

Call me selfish if you want. I am ok with that.

I'm not giving up + before and during picture

If you follow my Tumblr, you would've seen that I posted that I gained 4.2 pounds this past week. I was really frustrated because I worked out 5 times and I ate fairly well all week. Yesterday I did go to an oyster farm & indulged a bit with some bread and cheese. But not enough to gain that much.

I was so mad at myself this morning. I know that losing weight isn't something that will be easy but damn it, I worked hard this week. When I saw those numbers I was really disappointed. So what did I do?

Did I binge? No.

Did I work out? No.

Did I go back to bed & sleep for most of the day? Yes.

Like a child, I went back to bed pouting and mad. I let myself wallow in this small set back knowing that most of the gain was probably water retention. And heck, maybe I am building up some muscle? I probably had like 9 oysters yesterday and I know that those salty mother effers don't pack that much salt. I also had a wheat muffin every day. Even though they are only 100 calories (3 PP+) I think it could've been too much bread for my body to handle.

I know that in the past I have mentioned that for some reason when I eat bread (I had Subway every day for lunch one week) I did not lose. This week I will remain bread free and will continue on track. I am not giving up. I have to remind myself that this happens and move on.

But it's easier said than done. However, I saw a picture of myself from September of last year and I compared it to one that I took on Sunday. I realized that the hard work and frustrations are worth it. I am not going to give up. I felt so good all week after working out and eating right. Tomorrow I am lacing up my sneakers and this chick will be working out.

I am worth it.

5k Your Way - Week 2

I completed week one & it was a success. I feel a bit lighter on my feet and now that my foot isn't as sore, I can really push myself this week. I've been using my Runkeeper app to track my walks and the audio cues really help in pushing me along. Since I am not working right now, I've been typically staying up late and getting up ever later in the mornings. But since I don't like walking/working out in the heat, I am making an effort to go to sleep early which will in turn help me get up early when the temperature is cooler.

This week I also plan on working out 5 days. I really liked how I felt this past week and I hope I can keep the momentum going. My schedule for the week will be:

Day 1 - walk for 25 minutes continuously

Day 2 - rest/cross training (will commit to 45 minutes of cardio)

Day 3 - walk 1.75 miles

Day 4 - rest/cross training (will commit to 45 minutes of cardio)

Day 5 - walk 2 miles

As I did last week, for the cross training days I will be doing the Walk Away the Pounds DVDs.

Since I am trying to work on my speed and endurance, I will only be walking the steep hill near my house once a week rather than every time. I find that it makes me slow down even though the more I walk it, the easier it gets. But since I am trying to beat my 5k time which didn't include a steep hill, I feel as though I am putting myself at a disadvantage. Or am I avoiding that hill? Things that make you go hhmm...

One week down, four to go

Today I completed the first week of the 5k Your Way plan. That means I worked out 5 times this week. FIVE TIMES! And I survived! I feel very motivated and I hope my workouts reflect in my weigh in on Monday.

I've been actively posting to my Tumblr ever since I participated in the Do Life 5k. There is a great weight loss/healthy living community and that's the type of motivation I need. I've been posting shorter snippets daily and I am using it to document my progress with this 5k plan.

I also decided set a reward for myself for the end of August. Ben from BenDoesLife will be donating 15% of all the proceeds in August to a great organization. I decided that if I can reach a 70 pound loss by the end of August, I will get a shirt & sticker which will in turn help out To Write Love On Her Arms. That means I have to lose 10.8 pounds. Can I do it? I hope so! If I don't reach my goal, I will donate the money that I would've spent on the Do Life merchandise directly to TWLOHA. If you want to get some gear and help out a great organization, click here for more info.

Weekly weigh in - Week 46

I mentioned my janky scale the other day and I ended up going to WW last week to confirm my weight loss with them. Last week I didn't lose 4.1 pounds like I thought I did. In fact, I only lost 1.8. But that's ok. I ended up returning the scale and got a new one & checked to make sure that the scale matched the one at WW. This morning I weighed in and lost 2.8 pounds. Yay!

Food wise I feel as I did really well. I haven't been drinking as much lately as I would rather eat my calories than drink them. But I had two glasses on wine on Friday night and the rest of the time it was water all the way. In fact, I've upped my water intake this week and I feel great.

Fitness plan for this week was dismal but I plan on fixing that with the 5k Your Way plan. Today was the first day and I walked for 15 minutes at a brisk pace. My plan was to walk more but I hurt my right toe during the weekend. I wish I could tell you that busted it by working out or rescuing a kitten from a tree, but in reality, I banged it against a sidewalk when I was walking with flip flops. So while I wasn't Speedy Gonzalez in during my walk, I made up for it by walking up a steep hill near my house.

A while back, I would've not walked because of my "injury". I would've used any excuse not to workout. But I made myself walk and even though it hurt at the beginning and it was throbbing at the end of the walk, I was proud that I had made it.

My in-house doctor (my mom) suggested I take some arnica pills for the bruising. It doesn't hurt as bad as it did on Saturday. I guess I really do need some walking lessons.