5k Your Way - Week One

I've decided to post each week's schedule to hold myself accountable. At the end of each week, I will post how I did and next week's plan.

For this week, I have 3 walk days, 3 rest/cross training days & 1 day of rest. I am going to aim high and plan for 3 walk days, 2 cross training days & 2 rest days.

The reason I am being ambitious is that I can easily walk a mile and a half so to build up some momentum I can try to work out 5 days this week. For the cross training days, I will probably do 45 of cardio whether it be Walk Away the Pounds or a Richard Simmons DVD.

The time to beat in 5 weeks will be 57:50.5 which was my time at the Do Life 5k. I remember the route we took so perhaps I will walk that same route at the end of the 5 weeks to see how I've improved.

I hope I know what I am doing.

Oh motivation, where did you go?

I am looking for the motivation I had after participating in my first 5k. I was so pumped after it and then this week my workouts have been dismal. You would think with my weight loss and the 4 workouts from last week I would continue with the same path. But I haven't. Food wise I've been doing well and I hope the scale agrees with me on Monday.

I've been having a hard time getting motivated to work out. I think I realized why that is. I worked out hard last week because I had a goal short term goal - to complete the 5k. But now I don't have any short term goals. But that is changing starting Monday.

My goal for the next 5 weeks will be to follow the 5k Your Way training plan from Sparkpeople. I want to be able to improve my walking pace and hopefully one day soon maybe even jog. I have to start somewhere I am going to follow this plan for the next 5 weeks. My goal at the end of the 5 weeks will be to improve my time by at least 2 minutes per mile. I also want to increase my speed because at the end of September I will be going to a Breakfast Summit in SF and there will be walking involved. I don't want to be the one that the group is waiting for.

Wish me luck!

Dear body... I am sorry

I just came back from lunch and I was discussing my scale with my friend. I was bitching about how it was janky and giving me different numbers. I was mentioning how hard I've been working the past few weeks to lose the weight I gained in LA. Then this popped up on my Tumblr via fitvillians:

“Have you told your body how much you love it today?

Your body is responsible for everything you do. It keeps you alive, takes you to the store, gives you orgasms, allows you to dance, laugh & play. Every single thing you love to do in this world is made possible because of that body of yours. It works non-stop, doing your bidding.

And you hate it because it doesn’t look the way YOU think it should look?

You’re not just stuck in your body. It’s stuck with you too. And in terms of who’s treating who better, maybe it’s time to ask yourself how much love your bringing to the table in this relationship. Cause your body is doing nothing but loving you hard, 24/7.

Happiness doesn’t discriminate based on appearance. Neither does love. Don’t discriminate against your body. Love it for every single thing it does.”

Instead of bitching about my scale, I should be apologizing to my body for mistreating it for the past 20+ years. My scale may not be working well or it could very well be working perfectly. But I am the one that is at fault for being this way. I am the one who has abused and neglected my body. Any aches and pains I may have are my fault. My body allows me to do so much and until recently, I did so little for it.

That stops now.

I am sorry for mistreating you. I can't promise that I won't hurt you again but I will try my hardest not too. We are in this together.

I Did Life

Yesterday was a day that I won't soon forget. I participated in my first 5k race. It wasn't a timed event but the point was to be active. I was last but I felt really proud of myself for finishing it. I also wasn't that far behind which did wonders for my self esteem. I was so close to not going. I was in my car and I sat there for a minute debating whether or not to go. But I am so glad that I did. I got to meet Ben from Ben Does Life, his dad (Pa) and other folks who follow Ben's tumblr. Sunday was a day of firsts for me:

• Participating in a group activity that revolved exercise
• My first 5k event
• Going to a meet up by myself and not knowing anyone

On your mark...

There were about 60 people in attendance and everyone was so nice. As soon as I met the group, Ben introduced himself to me and asked me a bit about myself. We got to mingle with the other participants and at around 10:45 we started to run or walk in my case. I had set a goal for myself to finish in under an hour. My Nike+ & Runkeeper app have told me in past walks that my pace was on average 22 minutes per mile. I decided that I was really going to push myself and try to shave off time for this walk. I ended up completing the 5k (3.1 miles) in 57:50:20 minutes which is about 18 minutes per mile. Holy crap! I was so happy! Towards the latter part of the walk, I didn't think I would make it under an hour. There was a part that was uphill and I was already getting really tired. I didn't stop at all and just kept on walking even if my pace started to slow down. I walked by this lake that had a really nice waterfall. I didn't want to stop. In fact, I wanted to jump in since I was so hot. After meeting up with the group, we took some pictures with Ben and I bought a race shirt. I got in a size smaller than I am right now to motivate me to keep on moving. About half of us stayed and we had lunch together. I was glad that I stayed because I got to meet some folks who are very active and it was neat to hear about their races.

With Ben after I completed the 5K.

I felt so accomplished yesterday and really proud of myself because I was out of my comfort zone & I succeeded. Now I am looking to see if there are any more 5k's coming up to participate in. I may not be the fastest walker but even if in my next event I improve by a minute I will be really happy. With the 5k done, I completed my fitness goal of this week to work out 4 times this past week. My goal for this week will be to work out 4 times again. I feel so motivated!

I want to thank all of you who encouraged me to go to this event. I'm beyond ecstatic that I did and if Ben comes around next year with the Do Life Movement, I will definitely be there! And hopefully there will be less of me a year from now.

Oh yeah, and I also lost 4.1 pounds this week.

Group shot via Do Life Movement

Let's give them something to talk about

I found out that some people in my family in Mexico know that I've lost weight. My mom mentioned to me that one of my aunt's mentioned to her that my weight loss was a topic of conversation among my family. She said that they were very proud of me. Recently a family member gave me a gift to congratulate me on my weight loss and to encourage me to keep going.

I have mixed feeling about these situations. I am happy that they support me. But I don't really talk to my family about my weight issues and I know that I've only talked to a handful of my family members about it. I don't really share this part of myself so openly because I don't want to feel pressured that comes with more people knowing. I put enough pressure myself. Then I wonder what if the next time I see them they don't notice a difference. Will they start judging what I eat and do? I hold myself accountable by using this blog to document my journey but it feels much bigger now that more of my family members know. I think I just have to figure out a good way to deal with the expectations that others may have of me and not let it impact me in a negative way.

Right now that I am living at my mom's, she makes dinner for herself, my cousin (who is living with us for 2 months while going to school, my sister and I. While I enjoy her cooking, it tends to be on something that would use up a lot of my points so I've been making my own dinners instead. It's like it's finally clicked that I have to make myself a priority.

I have been binge free for over a week and I am really proud of myself. All it takes is a bit of planning and I can be successful with this journey. I am continuing to branch out and trying different foods. I made a veggie and bean salad on Monday and it was delicious. It's a very simple recipe and so yummy. I'm already halfway done with my fitness goal for the week and getting ramped up for the 5K on Sunday.

Learning to sparkle

This week I lost 1.3 pounds. I actually weighed in on Friday and would've had a bigger loss to post but I went to a BBQ on Saturday and had dinner at Cattlemen's last night so I think I may be retaining some alcohol and baby back ribs. hahaha! I am happy with my loss because I know that for most of last week I ate really well. I even tried a new recipe that my friend Karen posted on her blog. I made some Panzanella and it was so good. And each serving is 6 PointsPlus. One of the things that I've discovered with WW is that I need to have some variety in my food because otherwise I get bored and my bad habits come back. I made this salad 3 times this week and it was so good.

Thank you all for your feedback on this post. I appreciate your feedback so much. I posted on the Do Life Facebook page & I made the decision participate on the event this coming Sunday. I am excited & nervous but I will do it even if I am last.

I completed my fitness goal for last week and worked out 3 times. Don't laugh but I did the Richard Simmon's DVD which is basically 50 minutes of cardio. Let me tell you, Richard Simmons is no joke. I was sweating at the end of each session and muscles I didn't know I had were hurting. Oh man but it's the good kind of hurt. He also taught me how to sparkle! If you've ever done his workout DVD's you'll know what I mean. This week my goal is to work out 4 times and that will include the 5K on Sunday. I've already worked out this morning so I only have 3 more to go. Wheee!

My food goal for last week was to drink more water and I certainly upped it. I had two "bad" meals but overall I did really good. For this week, my goal will be to drink more water and to try a new recipe.

IMATS & LA trip

It seems like my LA trip was so long ago but I wanted to share my IMATS haul and pictures of my adventures in LA. In one word IMATS was overwhelming. I am so glad that I decided to be proactive and make a list of all the things I wanted to check out. Otherwise I would have spent my money on the first couple of booths and missed out on some great items. I ended up getting everything on my list with the exception of Inglot products. Even though we got there really early on Saturday, the line was pretty long and by the time I got to the Inglot booth, the line was a massive mess. I decided to skip out on it since I only wanted to check out the eye shadows & blushes and really, how many more of those do I need? Talk about self control.




I got a chance to meet Stef from We Heart This. We've been email pals for the past couple of months and I was so glad that we got a chance to meet IRL. We only talked briefly as there was too much going on.
After walking around for a couple of hours, I ended up purchasing the following items. To me it seems like a small haul but I was on a budget and stuck to it.

CoverFx 160 foundation brush (which I've used & it rocks) and several Crown Brushes. Their two sided concealer brush has changed the way I apply concealer.
BeautyBlender package which includes two sponges and a cleanser. I used it and I like the coverage I get with it. Lately I've been going back & forth with the CoverFx foundation brush and the BeautyBlender. I also got Embryolisse's Lait- Creme Concentrate which I use as a primer. Love it!
Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics is why I really wanted to go to IMATS. I've heard so many reviews about this line and I really wanted to try the lip tars. For the lip tars I got Memento, Pageant, NSFW, Trollop, Demure & Grandma. For the nail polishes I got Tattoo, Echo, Something and Dangerous.

I am not one who normally wears bright lip colors but I decided to branch out since I really liked the swatches I saw online. I've tried Demure, NSFW & Trollop and I really like them. Even though it was overwhelming, I still had a lot of fun at IMATS. I wish we would've have watched some of the seminars but we got worn out so fast. My nieces and I are now wanting to go to IMATS in New York next year.

The rest of the time we spent it in the Grove, Santa Monica and Beverly Hills. I had a great time with my nieces and got to spend some quality time with them.

View of the beach from the Santa Monica ferris wheel

In memory of the soldiers lost since the war started in 2001

Had to get my Pinkberry on

My nieces & I are fans of the Hills and decided to stop by one of the restaurants featured on the show. I had the Spencer Steak Tacos and they were damn tasty

The Grove in LA

Red velvet cupcakes at Magnolia's Bakery in Beverly Hills. Damn good!

The gates to the Playboy mansion

As close as we could get to the Hollywood sign

Enjoying life in Santa Monica

Time to be brave

I've spent the past couple of hours catching up on some blog reading. You think that being unemployed I would have the time but for some reason I haven't been keeping up. I have especially been reading the past entries that Mary from a small loss has posted in the past couple of weeks. She has lost over 140 pounds the healthy way and is a constant source of inspiration to me. Thank you Mary.

I've been giving it a lot of thought as to why I have been struggling with my weight loss lately. I am typing this after binging on two bags of M&M's. While they were tasty at the time, I regret eating them. Why is it that I am allowing myself to take one step forward and two steps back? I know that I feel good when I eat right and exercise. And even if it sounds a bit vain, I like it when people comment on my weight loss. I like that I can actually walk 5k and not be winded. Before I got serious with WW back in September, there were times when even walking a few short blocks would make my back ache and I would have to sit to relieve the pressure on my back. I am even embarrassed to admit that. Because really, how did I let myself get to weigh this much in the first place? I consider myself a smart woman but I've made some really stupid decisions about myself in the past especially with my health.

I often wonder if I am punishing myself for something. I mean, only someone who would treat their body this way would have to have a reason for doing so, right? What is my reason? Why don't I help myself and be healthy so that the hang-ups that I have would fall right off right along with my weight? Damn it I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be able to walk into a restaurant and not wonder if the booth I am going to be sitting in will be uncomfortable or if someone is looking at me wondering why I am so overweight. This may seem silly but one of the reasons why I don't like being late to places is because I don't want everyone to watch me walk in. I am afraid that they are thinking "whoa she is big" or " what happened to her?". I have this false sense of security if I am there before everyone because I feel like I will blend in. How can someone so big not stand out? This is the sort of internal dialogue that I have going through my mind quite often.

One of my struggles right now is that I want to do the Do Life run. It would be more like the Do Life walk in my case. But I am afraid of going. I am afraid that I will be the biggest person there and the last one finishing. I am afraid that I won't finish even though I no longer get winded on 5ks. I am afraid that no one will talk to me. I still have a couple of days to decide what I want to do and I hope that I am able to take this negativity and push it aside as I really want to participate in this event. I was reading a book on my Kindle and part of the story dealt with the Special Olympics. In the book they mention the organization's motto which has stuck with me.

Let me win. But if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt.

Tomorrow is a new day and I hope that a week from now I am able to say that I haven't binged in over a week. Brave is what I need to be.

Getting back on track

I lost 3.6 pounds this week. Whee! I'm excited that I am getting back on track. I've come a long way to stop where I am especially since I am not even close to my long term goal. But I am getting there and that is what counts. I worked out twice this week and after each workout, I felt so good. It's like my body welcomed the endorphins and it felt happy. I need to remember that feeling so I can keep myself motivated.

Some pictures taken during my walks - Blackie's Pastures in Tiburon & the Golden Gate Bridge. By the way, I had forgotten how much I liked the Hipstamatic photo app.

My fitness goal for this week is to work out 3 times this week. Whether it is a minimum of a 3 mile walk or 45 minutes of cardio, I will do it. It amazes me that I am even doing 3 mile walks. Back when I first started on WW, I could barely do a mile and I was puffing and looking like a hot mess.

My food goal for this week is to keep on trackin' and also to drink more water. I have been drinking too many diet sodas and not enough water.

Things I'm Loving

While I was in LA, I visited Wasteland in Santa Monica. For those of you not familiar with this store, it's a second hand store that usually carries designer items at a fraction of the price. You can find some great items you just have to look through them. This weekend I was walking around the Haight in SF and saw that there was a Wasteland location. I decided to walk in and found the most amazing Chloe purse. As soon as I saw it, I asked the sales associate if I could take a closer look and it was love at first sight. The price tag for the bag was $150. However, I wasn't sure what kind of deal I would be getting since I am not too familiar with the Chloe price point. I walked around the store some more but I kept thinking of the purse and I decided to get it. Eekk!

As soon as I got home I started Googling Chloe bags to make sure that I didn't get a fake and also to find the original price of the bag. After much searching, I found it on Purseblog entry. According to the site, the bag (back in 2006) was $1,585. The bag I bought is missing the brass padlock but I think I got an awesome deal. I also saw these really cute Marc Jacob flats but I felt like Cinderella's stepsister as they were too tight on me.

Another thing that I am loving right now is the Mossimo "Boyfriend" tees from Target. Now that it is summer it's pretty hot here in Marin. Right now it's been in the high 80's/low 90's. I had seen some ladies on Twitter talk about these tees and ended up ordering a few in a variety of colors. Oh My God! So comfy and perfect for this type of weather. I ended up ordering some more since they are only $10.



And lastly, I bought a cardigan which I think it's the first time I've ever bought one. I won't be wearing it for a while unless I go to SF where the temperature is a bit coolor but I saw it on Clique To Know and I knew it would be mine. Clique To Know is a member-only site a la Ideeli, HauteLook & Gilt but they cater to plus size ladies. The cardigan IGIGI By Yuliya Raquel Ronda Cardigan which is originally $72& I bought it for $30.

IMATS haul & LA visit post will be next :)

If I could turn back time...

I wouldn't have a 9.1 pound gain for the past two weeks. That's what happens when you completely ignore the plan you've been on and don't exercise. I am so mad at myself because I have gained part of what took too long to lose. But now I have nowhere to go but up ...err or in this case down. It's back to tracking EVERYTHING I eat and drink. Just because I am out of town or have family visiting or it's Tuesday, I cannot let myself get off track. It isn't worth it. I don't like how I feel. I have more thoughts on this but I need to get off the computer and get ready for the BBQ my mom is hosting at the house.

Anyways, I leave you with a song that's been in my head all day. And no, I won't be having any apple pie on this Independence Day. Happy 4th of July!

My life is like a bad country song

I ain't got no job

I ain't got no car

I ain't got no man

I ain't got no home

And if I had a dog,

it would probably run away.

That's pretty much how my life is right now. Yesterday I returned my car which thankfully the lease was up this month. Having an almost $300 car payment when unemployed is an expense that you really don't want or need. I moved back to my mom's house and so far things are going ok. I could sit here and bitch about my life but things could be worse. Now that I am back from LA and am settled to at my mom's, it's time to get serious about job searching and also getting back on track on Weight Watchers. I've sort of let the circumstances take over and haven't been tracking my food for the past couple of days. I made the decision that when I was in LA I wouldn't be too strict with my diet but I haven't gotten back on track.

My friend, her husband & I are going to be doing another weight loss challenge from July 1st through December 1st. It's the motivation I need to get back on track. I haven't even weighed myself to see how much I've gained but I will on Monday as that is my official weigh in day. But I feel heavier and like I have no energy. It's a feeling that I don't like.

I'll be posting about my LA trip in the next couple of days which will include my IMATS haul.