Can't Have Just One...

I'm a binger. It's something that I've known but lately it's been an issue and it's time to work through it. I had a gain last week and it was due to binging. This week was a struggle and I know I would've lost what I gained but I put myself in a couple of situations where I didn't track my food.

To not binge, I have to avoid it completely because once I get a taste I just can't stop. This week has been sort of busy because I have been moving and packing up my apartment. I was eating out and trying to remain as healthy as possible. But put me in front of a basket of chips & salsa and I am doomed. Put a chocolate mousse cake and I just can't have one bite. Even something that's relatively healthy as the mango bars from Trader Joe's I just can't have one. I can't control myself and it pisses me off. Why do I do this to my body?

Now that I am living at my mom's due to my job situation, it's going to be a challenge to not give in to the food that is kept at my house. Just because I can't control myself I can't ask my family to not buy the type of food I can't stay away from. I have this need to understand why it is that I sabotage myself this way. I know that I am worth it so why do I give in? My goal for this week will be to take it one day at a time.

Celebrate good times!

I celebrated my birthday in such a great way. I spent the day at the movie theater and I watched the Hangover II and I was disappointed. I know that sequels aren't usually as good as the first movie but I think I was expecting more. To be honest, I enjoyed the previews more. After that I went to Sephora to exchange my foundation. I had gotten MUFE Face & Body a while back and I didn't really see any big difference or improvement over NARS Sheer Glow. I decided to stick with what works. I also picked up my birthday shower gel from Sephora. That's the only birthday cake I had this year.

I met my friends and we went to Cha Cha Cha for dinner. I know I've mentioned that place quite a bit and I love the food. Their sangria is also really good.

We then proceeded to the U2 & Lenny Kravitz concert. Due to the massive amount of traffic, I only saw Lenny play one song. It was a bummer but for me it was all about U2. This was my third time seeing them and they did not disappoint. They played for 2.5 hours and I couldn't think of a better way to celebrate my birthday.

The coolest thing was when Bono asked the audience to help him sing Happy Birthday to his friend John. My friends and I freaked out. There were 69,000 people singing me (err I mean John) happy birthday.

Thirty Two

Tomorrow (Tuesday) I will be turning 32. My life is in a weird place right now so instead of dwelling on the negative, I decided to remember the positive things that have happened in my life or that I've experienced in the past year.

In the past year I...

• have lost 61 pounds
• went on a hike for the first time in my life
• walked 5 miles and didn't collapse
• spent a couple of days in London. It was my first time in Europe!
  
• went on a 12 day cruise (my first) and visited 6 different countries including St. Petersburg, Russia which was one of my favorite places on the trip
  
• started Weight Watchers and have been following the plan for 37 weeks
  
• learned that I actually like vegetables such as cauliflower, brussels sprouts and kale.
  
• read so many books on my Kindle but the most memorable series is The Hunger Games.
• walked the Golden Gate bridge more times in the past year than in the 20 years that I've lived in the Bay Area
• attended the World Series parade for the San Francisco Giants
• worked out every day for two weeks
• had several non scale victories: went from a 3X in pants & tops to a 2X in both, able to walk long distances without feeling winded,
  
• got caught in a snowstorm
• went (and will go) to more concerts than I have in the past year
• didn't turn to food for comfort when the chips were down
• went to my first Oakland A's game
• showed off San Francisco to family who hadn't visited before
• became obsessed with Tuttimelon froyo
• discovered the awesomeness of steel cut oatmeal
• haven't suffered from food coma for 37 weeks
• bought tickets to go to IMATS LA
• invested in Chanel make-up
• attended my first Oktoberfest
• went snowmobiling
• took steps to being healthy in all aspects of my life
• got laid off and realized that I would survive
  
• started putting myself and my needs first
• went to the Hermitage Museum in Russia
• flew first class
• blogged more
• rewarded myself for losing 50 pounds by getting new sneakers
• started loving myself