My goals for the past week were to avoid diet soft drinks & alcohol, track all my food & work out 4 times this week. I achieved 1/2 of these goals. I did manage to avoid diet sodas & alcohol and I did work out 3 times this past week. Tracking I did horribly with & I know why. Who wants to track their binges? No wonder I gained 1.6 pounds this week. I think my goals for this week will remain the same.
Even though I let go on my job frustrations at the gym on Wednesday, it's been weighing me down all week. The uncertainty is making me worry & stress. I have had this knot in my stomach for the past couple of days & I keep asking myself when I will get a job. It's all I can think about & I am becoming obsessed over it. What do I do? I graze. A lot. And then I binge. It doesn't matter what it is. I just eat. And I know I am not hungry. I feel so out of control with my current job situation so I let my food intake get out of control as well. It doesn't make sense. I regret it immediately but I can't seem to stop myself.
I need to learn to deal with the disappointment in a different way. I need to realize that I am not being the one rejected. It's just that there is a better candidate out there. I think the rejection is what is making me feel this way. It's making me feel like I am not good enough. If I am not good enough, then why continue on this path to getting healthy? I am obviously not worth it. Those are the thoughts that have been with me all week. I know better. I know I am worth it. But knowing & actually being are two different things.
I also figured out why my feet were hurting me so bad yesterday. Ready for a laugh? I had my clothes ready for yesterday morning and put on my Thorlo socks. So comfy & when I walk it feels like I am walking on the softest ground. Guess what genius put on her socks upside-down? The fluffy & comfy part of the sock was on TOP of my foot not on the bottom. It's a reminder not to get dressed in the dark while you are still partially asleep.
Monday, October 24, 2011
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Hi, Marisol. I'm unemployed, too. I was laid off April 4. State unemployment has been officially saturated, and so now I'm waiting to find out if I will qualify for Federal emergency unemployment. I've applied for hundreds - literally hundreds - of jobs, and have been to over one-half dozen interview; still no job.
ReplyDeleteI don't take it personally, in general, and something that recently happened made taking it personally moot: A part-time job I applied for had 179 other applicants. Gah.
Chin up, my dear, as best you can. Just take it one day at a time, and love yourself up... But not with food. xo
Thank you for the kind words. I have been unemployed since April1st this year. I am waiting to hear back if I qualify for Federal too. It sucks! I never thought I would be unemployed 6 months later. Money is the only thing that stresses me out. I hope you find something soon.
ReplyDeleteMarisol, you have been awarded! :-)
ReplyDeleteClick here for your award: http://www.flab-to-fab.com/2011/10/versatile-blogger-award.html
I know it's hard not having a job, i was in your shoes for a long time. Something will come along. I know it's frustrating but you do just have to keep trying to think positive. Keep yourself busy with things while you look for work. You've been doing well with your journey to being healthier, even if you have setbacks. That's normal. just keep at it. Use the extra time you have now to be active and when you do get that job, you'll be in your best shape ever! :)
ReplyDeleteUnemployment is so high over here too. For every job someone applies for, about 50 other people are too, many over qualified too. Just don't give up, someone will take a chance on you!
ReplyDelete