Today my lunch was rather unsatisfying and I was craving something greasy and salty. Basically something that isn't good for me. And after work I found myself eating a burger with fries at In N Out. I told myself that I would come home and do an hour of cardio as a way to "allow" mysel this meal. As I sat in my car eating it, I wasn't even enjoying it. I felt sick after I finished it and what's worse is that when I came home I didn't work out. It's 4 days into the week and I've worked out twice and one of those times was a half ass attempt.
I'm suddenly feeling like I can't control what I put into my body and it's silly to think that because I am in control. But I feel like I am drowning. I have such a long road ahead of me and it just feels like I'll never get there. I know that I didn't get to be this way overnight so it will take a while to be healthy. And I know that I am doing a good job. But suddenly the weight loss and changes in habits don't seem like enough. I don't want to gain back not even an ounce of what I have lost so far. It's almost like I need a bad weigh in get frustrated and get back on track. Is this just self sabotage? I think part of it is that I haven't been working on the mental/emotional side of why I let myself get to be this way. I think I am afraid of digging too deep into that part of myself for a fear of not liking what I find.
Awww marisol!!!! I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I know exactly what you're talking about though. I do that self sabotaging thing to myself also. IDK how to break that. All I can say is try to put it behind you and start over now. (HUGS)
ReplyDeleteHey Marisol! Sorry to hear about this.
ReplyDeleteRemember not to be too hard on yourself when you let yourself slip. It is difficult, and we all have our challenging health journeys, so don't sweat one or two bad meals.
Just make sure that you pick it up again and don't let the bad stuff snowball into a bigger thing. Who cares if you had the burger and fries? Just don't get into the mindset that "well, I screwed it up with this, I guess it won't hurt to screw it up even more." It's easier to snap out of it earlier than later. :)
And remember, 30+ pounds! Woohoo!
Some days (weeks) it IS much harder than others. But you're kidding yourself if you think you can be perfect. Or that you will NEVER gain an ounce. You have to embrace the imperfection and let your best, every day, whatever that looks like, be GOOD ENOUGH.
ReplyDeleteAlso, try keeping trigger foods like that OUT of your house. Ice cream (light) is only 200 calories per serving, but I can't eat just one serving. So it doesn't come in my house.
Hey! It's just ok to feel that way once in a while and to be aware of the things we do. I think we all have sabotaged ourselves while in a diet. As someone has said, try not to be too hard on yourself; as long as you get back on track it's ok. You're still on your way to your goal, and you're going to make it! 32 pounds now, and more to go!
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